Monday, November 23, 2009

The Dandy Dozen: Banjo White

Banjo White
Helena
Hound Dogs
Age: 35B/T: R/R
Born: East Granby, CT
Position(s): 1B/LF/DH
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The Resume:
Banjo White has hit more home runs than any player in Second City history. That's really all the resume you need, but I'll fill out anyways.

Banjo actually spent the world's first 2 seasons in the minors, hitting 119 HRs and driving in 411 runs at AA and AAA. He burst onto the scene for the Houston Heavy Hitters in season 3, winning the Rookie of the Year Award while hitting .287 with 42 HRs, 140 RBI, drawing more walks (73) than K's (70). He stole 19 bases for good measure.

White would spend almost his entire career with the Houston franchise, where he holds career records for games played (1608), Hits (1857), HRs (613), intentional walks (158, 3X the next highest total), runs (1504), RBI (1670), slugging % (.670), and walks (756). In addition to leading the world in career HRs (618), he ranks 4th in RBI with 1670, and 3rd in OPS (1.046).

White won the AL MVP in seasons 5, 6, and 7. During the MVP run, he AVERAGED 72 HRs, 184 RBI, 163 R, while hitting .312. He was an All-Star in seasons 4, 6, 8, and 10. White also won 2 minor league MVPs, Season 2 @ AA and Season 3 @ AAA.

The Rest of the Story: Banjo is actually named for his great-grandfather, Billy Whitlock, a famous blackface performer in the middle 1800's. Whitlock (who's grandson shortented the surname to White), was known as the King of Banjo players and starred in a series of acts that has since been derided as offensive due to it's racially insensitive content. Banjo, however, has remained true to his name, and never goes on a road trip without his trusty 5-string banjo. In fact, Helena manager Luis Pinero briefly clashed with White during spring training and jested to the media that White spent more time "strumming that banjo than taking batting practice." White, playing his first season outside of Houston, shrugged off the comment saying, "When Luis hits HIS 600th HR, he can talk to me about batting practice, until then, let the music play."

NKOTB Part 3: St. Louis Budweisers

St. Louis
St. Louis Budweisers (AL)
nesman
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History: Each of the last two owners have run the franchise for a team record 3 seasons. Needless to say, it's a well-traveled team. Sadly, all the travels have led to only 1 playoff appearance, in season 9. Cities that this team has called home: Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Detroit, Cincinnati again (2 more owners), and Tacoma.

What Happened? The AL just doesn't know what to make of itself. At one point, most of the division was in the Pacific Northwest (Tacoma, Vancouver, Ottawa - ok Ottawa's not really in the Pacific northwest, but nobody actually knows that). When the Kansas City franchise bolted for Chicago, the Tacoma team just couldn't resist having the whole state of Missouri to itself. Moreover, team owner nesman needed a marketing twist for his little known beer.

The Name: Well, seems pretty straight-forward. St. Louis is the home to Anheuser Busch, makers of Budweiser. Surprisingly, the name is a marketing campaign for a band. New York-based Less Nessman cashed in big-time when their single Fill the Faith, was accidently listed as a Faith Hill song. The resulting windfall profits had to be invested immediately before the country singer filed a lawsuit.

So, NESSMAN bought the franchise, moved it to St. Louis and named it the Budweisers, the only thing he knew about St. Louis. Rumors persist that the naming rights deal with Anheuser Busch is a done deal, being kept under wraps due to possible litigation. The team declined to comment, though a hung-over team Spokeman - pictured to the right - did say "ERRRRRRRRRRRR"

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Dandy Dozen: Winston Powell

Winston Powell
none
none
Age: 39B/T: L/L
Born: Ashland, MA
Position(s): 1B/LF/DH
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The Resume:
Winston Powell played his entire 12-season career for the Sioux Falls Dakota. He posted a career .325 average with 253 HRs, 1317 Runs, and 1094 RBI. His career OBP of .449 is 2nd all-time and his 1225 career base on balls are the most in league history. Only in his final two seasons did his OBP fall below .400 and his batting average below .300.

Powell made the All-Star team 6 times, was named RF Silver Slugger in 8 of his first 9 seasons, and won the NL MVP in season 6. During season 6 he would hit .372, with 44 HRs and 140 RBI while score 153 runs and walking 119 times and striking out just 27 times. His .488 OBP during the season is still the Second City single-season record. Perhaps his most amazing skill was his ability to put the ball in play. Powell holds 4 of the top 5 spots on a list of fewest strike outs for a hitter with 502 or more plate appearances in league history.

He made the playoffs in every season of his career (and won 2 titles), hitting .329 with 14 HR and 58 RBI in 395 ABs. He walked an unbelievable 79 times in the playoffs leading to a .454 OBP.

He recently retired as has joined the Dakota's minor league coaching staff.

The Rest of the Story:
Powell's grandfather was 1st Baron Robert Baden-Powell, a lieutenant-general in the British Army around the turn of the century. He is best known as the founder of the International Scouting movement, publishing a book, Scouting for Boys, in 1908.

All of his direct decedents have become accomplished scouts. He was prouder of none than young Winston, his youngest grandchild, whom was named after another famous Brit, Winston Churchill. Young Winston however had his name-sake's tempermant more than a love for his bloods passion. He would eschew the scouts, and instead spend every waking moment playing baseball as a boy in Massachusetts. By the time Winston was drafted, he was barely speaking to his famous grandfather, who though baseball a waste of time, and "far less civilized than cricket."

NKOTB Part 2: The Chicago Bartmans




History: The franchise opened on high note, winning the first 3 AL North titles as the Detroit Diesels. Then, a string of 5 owners, 5 cities (Buffalo, Chicago, Montreal, back to Detroit, and finally Kansas City), contributed to the team missing the playoffs for 8 consecutive years. dsmb and Kansas City brought some stability to the franchise, yielding division titles in each of the last 2 seasons. Now jywynkoop returns the team to Chicago.


What Happened?
Former owner dsmb made his money in the music business, specifically in blues (hence the former franchise name). However, rough times, and a nasty BBQ habit put dsmb in some financial trouble. Despite its winning ways, the team was soon in receivership. In swooped Miami financier jwynkoop, who made his fortune with an internet trading scheme, to take on the team. After a complicated transaction that saw the new owner use vagaries of the tax law to purchase the team as a partnership in a new corporation, thus avoiding millions in imaginary income taxes, the team was made, and the franchise moved north, to the South Side of Chicago.


The Name: Despite his Miami digs, the new owner is a loyal White Sox fan. What better way to stick it to the Cubs than to name a franchise over the fan who much of the Cub Nation blames for the teams' unimaginable collapse in the 2003 playoffs. If Cub fans knew anything about baseball, they'd be blaming Moises Alou for peeing on his hands or Alex Gonzalez for booting a double play ball. Instead, they blame, and now the Chicago franchise promotes, this poor, 1982 headphone-wearing superfan.