Dick Pole Profile (no this isn't porn): Bonk Remlinger

Bonk Remlinger of Terre Hill, PA has a long and largely undistinguished HBD career. That is until now. Bonk was the runaway winner of the Dick Pole bracket, scoring 10 first place votes to double up Fonzi Becker. This places Bonk into the Final Four.

Bonk Remlinger Detroit Crimson Age: 33 B/T: R/R Born: Terre Hill, PA Position(s): P (SP4) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

So, what's the story with Bonk? He was born in tiny Terre Hill, population 1,237, a largely German, Mennonite dominated village between Harrisburg and Philadelphia. Bonk first came to fame when he played the goblin in the annual Terre Hill Haunted Trail, the best damn Mennonite haunted train in all of Pennsylvania. Bonk didn't play high school baseball due to the wishes of his Mennonite parents. But, famous Indiana-based HBD scout, Woody Boyd happened through Terre Hill. A rainy day postponed the evening contests so Woody wondered over to the Haunted Trail, having heard that it was in fact the best damn haunted trail in all of Pennsylvania. When he started to cross Goblin Bridge, Bonk threw a cursed watermelon over his the bridge, as was his job as a goblin. Woody's jaw dropped in amazement. You see, Bonk's dad (pictured to the left), donated unsold watermelon's to the Trail ever year, and they weren't small. "Bonk was throwing 10-12 lb. melons 40 and 50 yards. I knew then that the kid could throw."

But's Bonk's parents wouldn't let him sign or even play. Finally Woody convinced Bonk of his opportunity, with the help of local cashier Mabel Klopfstein (seen below). Bonk snuck out in the middle of the night, learned his craft in the amateur and minor league ranks, and went on to a truly unremarkable career, posting 23-41 record, and 4.94 career ERA in 8 different big league cities for five organizations.