Playoff Preview (Mexico City)

Mexico City Bandejos (NL South Champs, NL #1 seed)
The Bandejos staged a late season rally to claim their 4th straight NL South title. Incidentally, their 3 WS titles all came after wild card seasons. The Bandejos won 29 of 39 late season games before resting some starters in a 10 of 18 finish.

Hitting:
2b Jalal Rivera (.301-44-131) and RF Del Gil (.304-50-138) power an explosive offense. Season 8 MVP Alex Shibata remains a dangerous force but hasn't been the same since his break-up with Japanese pop star Jun Shibata. His .258 average and 42 HR's are career lows for the 2nd straight season. This season's 124 K's are 28 more than he's had in any previous season.

Team BA: .283
Team HR: 285
Team SB: 138

Pitching:
Ozzie Myers (18-6, 3.32 ERA) and Brian Jung (20-7, 3.31 ERA) form a dangerous 1-2 punch in the rotation. Willie Velazquez (13-4, 3.06) is likely to get the #3 spot for the playoffs despite where some pretty lame eye black. Rob Shields appears to have lost the closer role to veteran Benjamin Ardoin. The end of the bullpen might be the only vulnerability in this perenial contendor.

Team ERA: 3.65
Team SV: 41-65
Team HR Allow: 181

Playoff Preview (Cheyenne)

Cheyenne Seminoles (NL West Champs)
Cheyenne won it's 2nd straight division crown and takes on Sioux Falls who they swept in the 2nd round last year.

Hitting:
Sherman Prince (69/73) and Ichiro Kuo (36/37) steal bases with lethal efficiency. They have to, as no hitter amassed even 30 HRs for the Seminoles.

Team BA: .281
Team HR: 170
Team SB: 140

Pitching:
Veteran Moose Gates led the staff with 17 wins but 24-year old Al Moreno is fast becoming the staff ace after a bout with elbow tendinitis earlier this season. 36-year old Adam Edwards was 34-35 closing games with a sparkling 1.77 ERA after struggling last season.

Team ERA: 3.46
Team SV: 61-67
Team HR Allow: 171

Playoff Preview (Scranton)

Scranton Nittany Lions (AL East Winner, #1 AL Seed)
Scranton won 108 games and their first ever division title. A win over defending champion Richmond would net them their first trip to the LCS.

Hitting:
At 24 Bret Davis knocked in 160 runs and took 93 walks while playing excellent defense at 3B. 36 year old Tony Matos posted a career-best .456 OBP and stole 29 bases. This team can score in a lot of ways with five 30+ HR hitters, and 4 legitimate base stealing threats.

Team BA: .309
Team HR: 313
Team SB: 133

Pitching:
Neil Henderson leads the team with 19 wins but Alex Martin (14-7, 4.37) will likely get the ball in game 1. Closer Magglio Merced has 171 saves and is just 24 years old.

Team ERA: 4.84
Team SV: 56-74
Team HR Allow: 261

Playoff Preview (Salem)

Salem Grand Salamies (AL West Champs)
Salem won it's 10th consecutive AL WEst title despite a 10 game drop-off from last season's win total.

Hitting:
Salem may be the least HR-defendant AL playoff team. That's not to say they can't hit the big fly, three Salamies had 30+ and 10 finished in double figures. Tony Baez is a 4-tool talent that hit 31 HRs, stole 82 (in 89 attempts) bases and hit .322 while playing a fine 2B. Keeping him off the bases is key to stopping this balanced attack.

Team BA: .316
Team HR: 254
Team SB: 189

Pitching:
Doc Belle posted a 17-7 mark with a 4.99 ERA in the difficult AL. Juan Velazquez and Greg Jameson are next in the rotation line and Carl Brooks is one of 2nd City's all-time great closers.

Team ERA: 5.59
Team SV: 49-68
Team HR Allow: 252

Playoff Preview (Burlington)

Burlington Bulldogs (NL East Champions)
The dogs won the east with an 84-78 mark after spending much of the year below .500.

Hitting:
It's not that hot in Vermont, but the air conditioning is free at Mustain Stadium where 5 Bulldogs fanned over 100 times. Five players also stole 12 or more bases but four regulars hit under .250 including SS Brad Flaherty and his .195 average.

Team BA: .235
Team HR: 214
Team SB: 134

Pitching:
Pedro DeRojas is the staff ace and has won 75 games before his 25th birthday. His 2.52 ERA was a career best. Ivan Saenz performed admirably in the closer role after being claimed from Vancouver on the waiver wire.

Team ERA: 3.65
Team SV: 50-74
Team HR Allow: 183

Playoff Preview (San Juan)

San Juan Crownrificos (Wild Card #1)
Fans remain in an uproar over the white-flag deal, but the Rificos somehow held off the Las Vegas Double Downs to the capture the wild card.

Hitting:
A balanced attack saw 12 hitters in double digist HRs. The squad is prone to the strikeout as 3 topped the century mark led by Bob LaRocca's 128. They almost never run, with only Dan Garcia's 28 swipes in double digits.

Team BA: .282
Team HR: 274
Team SB: 46

Pitching:
Nobody won 15 games for the 'Rificos, but the staff has depth in tboth the rotation and bullpen.
Franchise legend Lenny Ohman leads the rotation and Willis Gordon remains a top closer.

Team ERA: 3.93
Team SV: 40-58
Team HR Allow: 225

Playoff Preview (Sioux Falls)

Sioux Falls Dakota (NL North Champions)

Hitting:
Only Joaquin Medrano knocked in 100 runs for the Dakota but #2 hitter Winston Powell makes the offense go with his .440 OBP. Three other hitters finished with 90+ RBIs so the middle of the order is dangerous at times.

Team BA: .266
Team HR: 228
Team SB: 88

Pitching:
Ace Bartolo Gonzalez strained his elbow with about 40 games to go and the Dakota staff hasn't been the same since. Paul Rhodes is still a star and the pen seems improved over past years.

Team ERA: 3.72
Team SV: 46-63
Team HR Allow: 163

Playoff Preview (Nashville Harmonies)

Nashville Harmonies (Wild Card #2)

Hitting:
Nashville won 91 games without a 100 RBI man and with only Manny Hemingway scoring 100 (he knocked himself in 43 times with HRs). They hit with occasional power (4 other hitters over 20 HRs) and run very little.

Team BA: .268
Team HR: 231
Team SB: 67

Pitching:
The Harmonies pitching staff makes the team go. Ace Chad Rollins went 18-8 with a 3.19 ERA. The bottom of the rotation struggled, but the 2nd and 3rd starters both performed well. Alex Cruz is a solid closer, but the rest of the bullpen had its struggles throughout the year.

Team ERA: 4.09
Team SV: 59-71
Team HR Allow: 197

Home Sweet ... WTF?

Home field advantage isn't in the NL. In both first round series, the wild card teams went on the road and took 2 games from the division champs. Both Nashville and San Juan returned home needing to win just once to close out Sioux Falls and Burlington respectively. Neither did. That makes the home teams 0-8 in the first round of the NL this year.

Game 5 takes place this cycle with Rosario Rosado starting for Nashville in Sioux Falls against Sean Moore.

Rafael Rosado Nashville Harmonies Age: 25 B/T: R/R Born: Colon, PA Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Sean Moore Sioux Falls Dakota Age: 28 B/T: R/R Born: Ennis, MT Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

In San Juan, Burlington will send ace Pedro DeRojas against Crownrifico ace Ronn Thomas.

Pedro DeRojas Burlington Bulldogs Age: 24 B/T: S/L Born: Chinandega, NI Position(s): P (SP5) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Ronn Thomas San Juan Crownrificos Age: 29 B/T: S/R Born: Tustin, CA Position(s): P (SP1) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Playoff Preview (Otttawa Automatons)

Otttawa Automatons (AL North Champs)
The franchise makes its 7th straight playoff appearance after a 2nd straight 85 win campaign.

Hitting
Three big sluggers (David Padilla, Rudy Greer, and Mac Ventura) lead the attack with 51, 45, and 45 dingers each. This team will run too, but it's offense may not be up to par with some of its competition.

Team BA: .284
Team HR: 287
Team SB: 168

Pitching
The rotation is something of a mess for a playoff team. No starter finished more than 3 games over .500 and only youngster Jim Howard had an ERA under 5.00. The pen wasn't a ton better.

Team ERA: 5.47
Team SV: 42-63
Team HR Allow: 262

Playoff Profile: Richmond Confederates

Richmond Confederates (AL Wild Card #1)
Last year's WS champs didn't win a tough division, but did win 102 games and will be a tough out in Season 10.

Hitting:
The 'Feds sport a more balanced attack that gets on base with impunity but doesn't rely on any one slugger. Six regulars his 30 or more HRs but only Julio Nunez (43) surpassed 40. They run like crazy though with over 250 swipes as a team.

Team BA: .295
Team HR: 295
Team SB: 254

Pitching
3-time Cy Young Award winner Charles Kubinski was imported from Mexico City and he has not disappointed (20-3, 3.75). The rest of the rotation is solid if unspectacular, but the bullpen could be a questions with Peter Hoiles and his 5.70 ERA in the closer role.

Team ERA: 4.42
Team SV: 52-75
Team HR Allow: 239

Playoff Profile: Texas Riders

Texas Riders (AL South Champions)

Hitting:
This will become a theme with the AL teams, but the Rider O gallops on the power of sluggers. Antonio Chapman (69 HRs, 154 RBI) and Kelvim Roa (59, 139) hit a ton of homers in a park that likes to give them up.

Team BA: .280
Team HR: 366
Team SB: 119

Pitching:
Texas is NOT a fun place to throw the ball for a living. No pitcher won over 14 games, and only 1 starter (Vin Sheets) had an ERA under 5.00. Closer B.C. Juarez was electric though, saving 40 of 47 while posting a 1.91 ERA. If the Riders can get him the ball, he'll be tough to beat.

Team ERA: 4.99
Team SV: 46-61
Team HR allow: 218

Playoff Team Preview

Baltimore Dead Homies (AL #2 Wild Card):
Hitting
Baltimore brings some big sticks to the playoffs with 5 regulars with 30+ HRs including Vin Guapo with a team-leading 56 to go along with his 45 stolen bases in 52 attempts. 8 players hit 20 or more homers for a team that is not afraid to score runs.

Team BA: .292
Team HR: 307
Team SB: 239

Pitching
Rico Lecuona is the staff ace with a 18-4 record and 3.84 ERA. Pablo Saez brings the 2nd big gun 16-7, 3.78. But, the bullpen has had it's issues and probably #3 starter Claude Rakers sports an ERA over 5. Neither closer distinguished himself.

Team ERA: 4.89
Team SV: 45-61
HR allow: 237

Crownrifico fans protest White Flag Deal

Hiram Bothorn Stadium in the 1st inning(left)

Same stadium in the top of the 3rd (right)






The San Juan Crownrificos fan club has declared a white out. They plan to show up in all white for their next game, stay through the 1st inning and then leave en masse. The vitriol of this response comes as a shockto 'rifico owner wang35.

San Juan dealt staff ace Phil Martin, a 4-time All-star, 20-game winner last season all while just 2 games out of the division lead and with a clear lead in the wild card race. As outrageous as this action sounds, the fans might have lived with it. After all, the 'rificos got back two major league ready players with high upsides in Pedro Zurbaran and Dennis Wan. But, to move a player of Phil Martin's caliber to chief rival, three-time world series champ, Mexico City, who sat just behind the 'rificos is inexcusable to the fandom.

"BENEDICT ARNOLD!", proclaimed the sign from one fan who pledged never to return to Hiram Birthorn Stadium as long as wang35 controlled the team. wang stuck to his guns. "Listen, we've had injury problems and there was no way we were going to win with Phil. I'd rather get two top players that risk losing him in free agency and get draft picks or worse back for him. " Still, fans could think only of the fabeled White Flag trade made by the Chicago White Sox. Nobody remembers that Keith Foulke turned into a great closer (that Mike Caruso smoked WAY too much weed), or the Wilson Alvarez never really did much after that season. They only remember an owner giving up on a team that had a chance. Chances don't come around all that often and these fans will not soon forget.

All-Star update

My how imaginary time flies when you're having fun. The 1st half of season 10 is in the books. WCM pauses to take a look at some of the surprises and disappointments of the 1st half.

SURPRISES
NL Team - With apologies to the Seminoles (59-13), the surprise NL team is the Nashville Harmonies, leading the always cut-throat NL South at 56-35. The Harmonies have a 3 game lead on San Juan despite scoring 42 fewer runs and allowing 15 more. Still, when your division opponents have accounted for 7 pennants and 6 world series titlets, any lead is one worth savoring this far in.

NL Player - Chris Benes of DC hit just .240 with 17 HRs last season but he's hitting .260 and already has 23 dingers this year while stealing 18 or 20 bags.

NL Pitcher - Stu Duffy of Cheyene went 11-13 last year with a 4.44 ERA. The 30-year old has taken the league by storm this year, posting a 12-3 mark with a 2.39 ERA.

NL Rookie - Nashville catcher Kennie Rekar is 6th in the league in hitting at .339 with 21 HRs as the everyday catcher for the division-leading Harmonies.

NL Rookie Pitcher - Dominican starter Rafael Aguilera has been lights out at 11-3 with a 1.61 ERA.

AL Team - The Texas Riders have never won the division, but they lead the Conquistadors by 2 games heading into the break.

AL Player - Scranton's Tony Matos is 36 years old but his .352 average is 50 points above his areer average. He's also stole 21-24 bases.

AL Pitcher - Rich Harris has managed to go 10-0 for the Monterrey Conquistadors out of the bullpen!

AL Rookie - Sante Fe Rule 5 pick, Bobby Duran has hit 29 homers since the Fire Hawks took him off the Texas Riders hands. His performance in the field has been equally shocking as the the player that wa a below average defensive 3b throughout his minor league career was handed the everyday SS job. his 59 errors and 13 minus plays put him on pace to challenge the league record of 87 errors by Memphis' Phil Powell last season.

AL Rookie Pitcher - Vancouver's Winston Silvestri is 7-6 with a 4.16 ERA as a 26-year old rookie.

A little something extra: Cheyenne's 3.20 team ERA is 0.43 better than the next best team ERA in the league (Burlington).

DISAPPOINTMENTS -
NL Team - The Mexico City Bandejos coming off 3 straight division titles and a league pennant currently sit in 3rd place in the NL south and are on pace for their worst record in 6 seasons.

NL Player - Burlington's [URL=http://www.whatifsports.com/hbd/Pages/Popups/PlayerProfile.aspx?pid=976962]Luis Astacio[/URL] has seen his average fall by 60 points from last year (.219 from .279) and is slugging just .344 after posting an impressive .520 in season 9.

NL Pitcher - Phenom Randall Kinkade of Washington may have been rushed to the big leagues. His 4-10 record and 5.40 ERA are not the stuff of legends predicted for the swashbuckling Texan teenager when he was drafted #3 overall in season 8.

AL Team - The Cincinnati Great Americans won 96 games and a division title. They bring back a $98 million payroll but are 43 games under .500, already having lost 1 game more than they did last year.

AL Player - The Hellraisers' Jerry Turner is struggling badly with more strikeouts (85) than hits (77) after a season that saw him hit .287 with 21 HRs and 42 stolen bases. He's already been thrown out stealing 7 times after being caught just 5 times last year.

AL Pitcher - Cincinnatti's Max Molina who was so impressive posting a 2.79 ERA in three playoff starts last year after a 13-6 regular season (3.10 ERA) is out for the year after tearing up his elbow. He was probably hurt long before he stopped pitching as his 12.89 ERA in 81 innings indicate.

A little something extra: The Burlington Bulldogs lead the NL East and would go to the playoffs if the seasone ended today despite their 44-47 record, which would place them ahead of only one NL team not in their division.

Blues sign #1 overall pick Herrera

The Kansas City Blues tabbed Lamar Community College sophomore Jared Herrera with the #1 overall pick. Herrera, a 5'9 right-hander quickly signed a $4,000,000 contract. He profiles as a workhorse, capable of working 230 IP a season once he reaches the big leagues. The diminutive hurler features two solid pitches in his fastball and curveball which is especially tough on righties.

Jared Herrera Kansas City Blues Age: 20 B/T: R/R Born: Eads, CO Position(s): P (SP1) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Some scouts question whether such a small RHP can become a true ace. "How many 5'9 pitchers can you find in the league? The ones you do find are relievers," said one unnamed scout. Herrera scoffs at such criticisms. "My high school teammates used to make fun of my height when we went apple picking too, but how many of them got to attend community college?"

Herrera's hometown of Eads is going batty over his selection. Eads has a population of just 747 and until now was most famous for being the county seat of Kiowa County. The county tried to quickly enact an income tax so it could double it's operating budget with its take of the signing bonus. But, Herrera signed quickly and the measure hadn't yet made it out of committee where it was stalled due to Duane "Dog" Chapman being out of town filming the bounty hunter.

NKotB the Final Frontier: Oklahoma City Bombers

bonesmagoo takes over a franchise's 5th owner and 3rd in as many years. He immediately returned the squad to the mainland, leaving behind Hawaii and the only last place finish in franchise history. The team has never reached the playoffs either though. Five second place finishes in 9 seasons have not earned even a single wild card birth.

So, what do we know about bonesmagoo?

Well, bones was a little-known hanger on of famous pop sensation, WHAM! (see photo to the left). In fact, he was named lead roadie of WHAM! in 1984. George Michael never sang a word on a microphone that bones hadn't first said "syballus, syballus, one-two, one-two" into first. While his roadie career started off with a bang, magoo was soon overcome by the rock-star lifestar lifestyle, frequently bedding WHAM! groupie castoffs. He certainly could have continued on with this lifestyle for years, but then IT happened.

IT is the little-known conflict that drove apart George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley. In January 1986, just after explaining American football to Ridgeley while watching the Bears win Super Bowl XX, George Michael's burrito went missing. Michael had stepped out to do an interview. When he returned, his gordo chorrizo and steak burrito was gone. Michael, already suspicious of Ridgeley's accent, immediately blamed him. Ridgeley was still trying to understand why Jimbo Covert wasn't a legal receiver but Fridge Perry was, so he had little response. Surely the upstanding magoo would have taken the blame, but he was locked away on the crapper, experiencing the full effects of gordo + chorrizo + hot sauce. In fact, WHAM!'s farewell single, The Edge of Heaven was actually Michael's tribute to a burrito he never had.

maggoo would follow Ridgeley into Formula 3 racing. While Ridgeley never had much success, magoo would meet Helena "T-Shirt" Pennzoil, heiress to the Jiffy Lube fortune. He and Helena didn't last, but he would walk away with a small fortune, plus free oil changes for life. He's sunk his life savings into the Bombers, which are named for a line in "Battlestations", off WHAM!'s farewell album, Music from the Edge of Heaven.

NKOtB Part Two: Ottawa Automatons

We're finally back at it with just two more new team profiles to write. evilleteache takes over what was once one of the top franchises in the AL. After some early turmoil ewd330 took over this franchise and plated in Rochester where the team went on to win 5 straight division titles and advanded to the ALCS 4 times in 5 years, even reaching the World Series in Season 7.

After a somewhat disappointing 2nd place finish in one year in Philadelphia, billybob sold the franchise to evilleteache. The megalomaniac evilleteache made his fortune after inventing Chia World, a minaturized globe that grows a color-coded map of the world when special seeds are applied. What began as a way for teache to conquer the world became a commercial success when a local radio station added it to their "news of the weird" segment. After amassing his fortune, he decided to turn to What If Sports. A recent lawsuit alleges that evilleteache actually stole the idea from an episode of Pinky and the Brain.

By relocating to Ottawa, he hopes to avoid the US legal system. The Autmatons are actually named for his 2nd most famous invention, a self-sustaining robot. The robot is able to repair, recharge, and relocate itself for an idefinitie period of time. The break-through was initially praised but was never commerically successful as the robot was incapable of doing anything useful since it was so focused on maintaining itself. It also had the annoying habit of starting every sentence with "biddy-biddy-biddy."

Outlaw Owner responds

Fresno owner official statement: After much trepidation, I sought council from my good friend Al Davis and discussed exit strategies from Los Angeles. While LA posed a prime baseball market, the Outlaws were unable to receive the necessary upgrades to the stadium and additional revenue required to maintain such an elite professional organization. Fresno has welcomed us with open arms as we seek to build a strong relationship with the city and our fans. We look forward to many successful seasons at Grizzlies Stadium.


Outlaw owner PirateFan13 and Al Davis exchange pleasantries

New Kids on the Block, Part one: Kansas City Blues

DSMBA became the 6th owner of the franchise in as many years this offseason. After opening with a 5-year run in Detroit where the team won 3 division titles and made the playoffs 4 times, sportsnut sold the team and it was relocated to Buffalo. But Buffalo was too cold and the team was taken to Chicago. But Chicago was also too cold so the team was taken to Montreal (doesn't make much sense). Finally, with DSMBA at the helm, this well-traveled franchise has landed in Kansas City.

Kansas City Blues (AL) dsmba View Hardball Dynasty Profile

So why Kansas City? Well could there possibly be a good reason. At least it's as far south as the team has ever been. Some initially squabbles about sharing the stadium with the Kansas City Wiz have been resolved, and the BBQ's will be fired up for Opening Day.

So more importantly, why the Blues? Well, the Kansas City Blues has been the name to several sports franchise. In fact, Dallas Cowboys and Washington Senators (later the Minnesota Twins) can both trace their origins to franchises from KC known as the Blues. Minor league basebal land hockey franchises have also used the name. But these Kansas City Blues are actually known for their music.

While better known for it's Jazz, Kansas City also has a vibrant Blues culture. Team owner DSMBA is a silent partner in the Kansas City Musicians Foundation. So who cares? Well, nearly every drunk in KC does. You see, the KCMF has immunity from the town's liquor laws and sells booze all night long. This market advantage has allowed dsmba to amass a small fortune, which he has used to acquire this traveled (if not storied) franchise.

Team manager Abraham McMillon is very worried. You see the Blues players have been known to spend a late night or two on the town. McMillion, who managed the Las Vegas franchise last season, has seen the impact a lack of sleep and an overabundance of booze can have a team (witness Francis Bird's implosion last year). "If these guys think they can roll in at 5 am and still win, they're dead wrong. We're enforcing a strict 3 am curfew while the team is at home." Good Luck Abraham!

Mamma Mia! Baseball back in Austin

National League baseball is back in the state of Texas as the franchise formerly known as the Memphis Shores has relocated to Austin. The Austin Drillers are will open play under new owner, threester this season.

Austin Drillers (NL) threester View Hardball Dynasty Profile

The Drillers are perhaps the most infamous franchise in Second City history. They play in the most successful division, with the Mexico City Bandejos and San Juan Crownrificos combining to win 6 of the 9 championships thus far. The Drillers on the other hand, have never made the playoffs, never touch .500, never finished anywhere but 4th in the NL South, and own the record for the worst season in Second City history, 13-149 in Season 8 under the deposed sonenlaw.

So why Austin? Well, few people know that Austin was orginally named Waterloo, before changing it's name to Austin in honor of Stephen F. Austin, sometimes called the father of Texas. As it turns out, new owner threester is an unabashed fan of Abba. His favorite Abba tune? You guessed it, Waterloo. Threester is rumored to have been romantically involved with Frida Lyngstad, one of Abba's lead vocalists. The trist was never confirmed and both threester and Lyngstad refused to comment for this story.

Silly Rabbit, Trix is for Communists

The Oklahoma City Bombers used the 2nd pick in the Rule 5 draft to acquire Jose Suarez from the Washington D.C. Honor and Courage. Jose's older brother Livan Suarez is the Bombers top hitter, coming off back-to-back 50+ HR seasons.

The story of the Suarez brothers is a complicated one. The players' father, Luis Suarez recently resigned as head coach of the Ecuadorean national soccer team. Luis was born in Columbia. Fearful for her life with her husband coaching a national soccer team, the boys mother Sonya moved the duo to California. When her job as the voice of the Trix silly rabbit required her to move to Minnesota, she left Livan behind in California, where he completed high school while living with a cousin that plays soccer professionally. Jose never really liked Livan or soccer, calling the sport "a Communist game played by nationalistic pigs." The boys have rarely spoken since.

Jose followed his mother to Minnesota, finishing school in Edina, MN. Jose was crushed when his audition to play the voices of one of the kids in a Trix commercial was cancelled. He threw him self into baseball, and now he'll get a shot to play for the Bombers.

When told that Jose would be coming to Oklahoma City, Livan said, "if he starts talking smack about soccer, we're gonna have words again." Jose is certain that noone in Oklahoma City has ever seen a soccer ball and pledges that it won't be an issue.

'Feds Shock Bandejos Again!

Charles Kubinski Richmond Confederates Age: 36 B/T: L/L Born: Towner, ND Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

The Richmond Confederates, the defending champions, who shocked 3-time champ Mexico City in the World Series, fired another shot directly across the bow of dyuen and the Mexico City Bandejos. Three time Cy Young award winner Charles Kubinski signed a 2-year, $17.6M contract with the Confederates last night.

Kubinski, who went 22-4 with a 2.55 ERA last season joins a powerful Richmond team that brings back almost every significant player from last seasn. Kubinski is one of a handful of players to have made the playoffs every season, posting a 16-10 postseason record in 33 appearances (30 starts).

dyuen had this to say, "We'll miss Kraz (SIC). He's been an incredibly valuable asset to the team but the fact is, this guy has more mileage on him that an aircraft carrier hooker." Expecting a 36-year old who's averaged over 250 IP over 9 years (when playoffs are included) is a luxury that Richmond can afford for now.

Isotope Power Source?

From St. Louis to Kansas City to San Diego to Colorado Springs back to St. Louis to Albuqueque and now finally to Arizona (Phoenix), few franchise have moved as many times as the Isotopes. The franchise has gotten so good at moving, the front office is actually located in a series of inter modal containers that can be loaded onto trucks (as with the recent move to Arizona), Ships, or even trains (as was the case for the KC - San Diego, and Colorado - St. Louis moves. The conainters are filled with the latest technology enabling 'Tope GM and owner, uustal to keep up with the latest comings and going in HBD (see left for picture of the GM's "mobile office" along with his assitant GM, Bonnie Barstow and his belove Trans Am).

The team nomadic history is not surprising given it's name. Rumors have long swirled that the team's facilities are powered by an as-yet unidentified source. WCM has obtained a photo of what alleges to be the team's power source. You can find it to the right. In each city at which the team has stopped, a single-high ranking official has been given access to the team's facility. 5 of the previous 6 city officials have developed a mysterious illness. uustal calls it pure coincidence, but protestors are already approaching the team's facility in Phoenix and demanding the team move elsewhere.

Crownrificos sued by former players

Recently retired San Juan Crownrificos have filed a class-action lawsuit against the club alleging racial discrimination. Henry Freel and Troy Bollea allege that San Juan team owner wang35 has infringed upon their rights by not allowing the players to take personal time to celebrate Bastille Day. Bollea (rhymes with courvosieur) and Henry (rhymes with enuui) Freel are both American citizens.

However, Freel hails from Louisiana and comes from a long line of French Creole ancestors. He claims his great-great-great-great uncle Pierre actually notorized the Louisiana purchase. A plaque in his sister's currency exchange commemorates the occasion but locals are skeptical. "That boy ain't been right since he wrestled an alligator in the 5th grade." Local lore has it that Freel was given a standing eight-count, but won on points.

Bollea attended high school in NY state. He changed his name 11 years ago when a local reporter revealed that he was actually the child of his siblings' nanny, French aupaire Monique Bollea. The family had long concealled the secret but all was revealed the stunning season finale of The Jerry Springer Show.

Windy City Musings legal expert Roger Coussack doubts that the players have a case, but fellow recent retirees, Dennis Shibata, Sterling Dupler, and Frank Fujiwara are rumored to be considering joining the case for their own ignored ethnic holidays (Peal Harbor Day, Arbor Day, and National Talk Like a Pirate Day respectively).

Outlaws hide out in Fresno

The LA Outlaws were finally driven out of LA today. The Outlaws have been battling the LA government over stadium financing for years. After being told 'no' team owner PirateFan13 immediately looked locally. While public statements have indicated that stadium funding was the reason behind the move, insiders are convinced that the move had more to do with the price of gas.

Since purchasing the team from founder bccullan 3 seasons ago, team owner and notorious miser, PirateFan has been commuting almost 200 miles from his home just outside of Fresno. Moving the team closer to home promises to save PirateFan hundreds of dollars a week in fuel for his Hummer H3.

Another, more obscure story comes from a former girlfriend of PirateFan who has chosen to remain nameless. "PirateFan is a bit of a cook. Ever since that James Bond move, A View to a Kill, came out, he's paranoid. First he dumped me and starts stalking Grace Jones (May Day from the film). Next thing you know he's convinced that Christopher Walken is going to sink Silicon Valley and then move on to LA. He said Fresno might be cheap now, but just wait until it's ocean-front property." This reporter couldn't even compose himself to ask a follow up question.

In Fresno, the Outlaws were greeted by the open arms of mayor Alan Autry. Autry, a former Green Bay Packer quarterback was thrilled to bring professional imaginary sports back to town after the stinging loss of rotisserie roller derby franchise, the Fresno Freeze to Budapest.

The Eight-Figure Club

What follows is a summary of the 8 international free agents signed to $10M+ contracts this season. News, notes, and interesting stories regarding each are included.

Player
Hector Mendoza
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
SS	Colorado Mountain Oysters		Juarez, MX	$10.1	18
AB	AVE	HR	SB	BB	Lev
157	0.401	10	10	36	Rookie

Scouts are divided on Mendoza's future position, with some thinking he can be an adequate SS while others see a move to 3B. The diminutive (5'10, 168 lb) Mexican looks like he'll hit for a decent average with a some pop (15 HRs). His baserunning instincts have been questioned, but insiders say he regularly snuck illegal immigrants into El Paso to work in gentleman's club as a teenager.

Player
Delino Armas
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
P	Nashville Harmonies		Santa Rosalia, MX	$10.2	18
IP	Rec	SV	ERA	K	Lev
28	5-0	11-13	3.86	30	LoA

Armas is a tall, imposing right-hander that profiles as a future closer. His nasty sinking fastball gets ground balls and strikeouts with it's impressive movement. He complements the pitch with a developing curveball. If Armas can perfect his control, he could become a feared closer. After being named to the Lo A all-star team, Armas through a burritos and cervezas party that resulted in an overnight stay in jail for 2 of his teammates. Harmony management took no disciplinary action.

Player
Tony Mota
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
P	Albuquerque Isotopes		Gatun, PA	$10.3	19
IP	Rec	SV	ERA	K	Lev
68	5-3	0	3.31	67	LoA

The tall Panamanian with the ironic mustache took Lo A by storm with his devasting screwball, which makes life especially difficult on right-handers. Scouts feel he can become a legitimate starter if he refines his changeup to get out left-handers. Mota's great grandfather actually designed the Gatun Dam, which the United States built along the Panama Canal between 1906-1914.

Player
Miguel Park
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
P	Vancouver Jets		Districto Nacional, DO	$11.1	18
IP	Rec	SV	ERA	K	Lev
3.1	1-0	1-1	5.40	6	RL

Park has hit 95 on the gun with his riding fastball. Jets scouts see him as a project with tremendous upside. He signed late in the season, seeing limited action, but did throw 8 scoreless innings in the playoffs, allowing just 2 hits and 2 walks. On his first visit to Vancouver, the native of the Domincan Republic said, "Damn it's cold up here."

Player
Hee Bong
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
2B	San Francisco Dolphins		Seoul, KR	$13.0	19
AB	AVE	HR	SB	BB	Lev
355	0.355	18	10	66	LoA

Bong came to SanFrancisco from Seoul, South Korea. He's tiny (5'9) and a bit raw in the field, but Dolphin scouts see a potential gold-glove CF or 2B. The 'Phins also expect a huge attendance boost when the Korean deputs due to San Francisco's large Asian population. In fact, Bong is spending the off-season hitting large fish in his Uncle's SF Fish Packing plant. His agent, has pitched the story to the writers of Rocky, but they seem uninterested.

Player
Joaquin Izturis
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
CF	Mexico City Bandejos		Puerto Plata, DO	$15.9	18
AB	AVE	HR	SB	BB	Lev
278	0.263	5	21-27	29	LoA

Izturis hails from Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic. That translates loosely to flat plate. Aren't un-flat plates also known as bowls? Bandejos director of player development Snoop Doug Lahman said, "this guy is the for rizzle Tonii Hunter by dizzle." dyuen immediately punched him in the head. Izzy is fast and will get on base. Look for him to be patrolling CF in season 12 or 13.

Player
Yorvit Esposito
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
P	Toledo Boonse Farmers		Chacao, VE	$17.0	20
IP	Rec	SV	ERA	K	Lev
27.2	0-2	4-5	3.25	33	LoA

Esposito hales from Chacao in Venezuela. His father, Antonio, became one of the top derivatives traders in Venezuela after retiring from professional ice hockey. His rumored to be on the verge of bankruptcy after his portfolio dropped 83% over the last month. The towering (6'5) lefty sports two devastating pitches that he uses to blow away hitters. Look for him to anchor the back end of the Boonse Farmer pen for years to come.

Player
Edgardo Merced
POS	Team		Hometown	Bonus	Age
P	Burlington Bulldogs		Hato Mayor Del Rey, DO	$23.0	20
IP	Rec	SV	ERA	K	Lev
37	3-1	0	2.43	36	HiA

Merced signed for a league-record $23.0 million. He went straight to HiA and pitched quite well. He uses pinpoint control, and three + pitches to get hitters out, but lacks a devasting strike-out pitch. He actually could be a decent hitter for a pitcher and even switch hits, both on and off the field.

There they are, the 8-figure club, coming to a ballpark near you ... in a couple years.