Dandy Dozen - Rico Lecuona

Rico Lecuona Baltimore Dead Homies Age: 28 B/T: S/R Born: Ceiba Del Agua, CU Position(s): P (SP1) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

The Resume: Twenty eight year-old Rico Lecuona was signed out of Ceiba Del Agua, Cuba in Season 4 for $18.9M, a hefty price. He's been with the franchise (Wichita and now Baltimore) ever since. After just 3 minor league starts, Rico reached the big leagues and debuted a respectable 4-4 with a 4.31 ERA in Season 4 as a 20 year-old. He didn't really establish himself as a star until season 8, when he went 19-7 with a 3.21 ERA on his way to the first of his 3 Cy Young awards. He's made the All-star team 6 times, and recently reached his first World Series. Lecuona has a lot left to accomplish as he's got many years ahead of him. The Dead Homies have him signed through season 17, so he's not expected to go anywhere. He's never hit the DL, and has thrown over 230 innings in each of the past 5 seasons. He's also 6-2 in 13 career post-season starts.

The Rest of the Story: Lecuona actually defected from Cuba while playing in a tournament in Mexico. The Cuban team was scheduled to go to a Jonas Brothers show in Mexico City on an off day. However, the Jonas Brothers unexpectedly canceled the show due to the swine flu, ruining Lecuona's escape plans. His creative agent however, was able to sneak him out of a hospital after Lecuona feigned a severe cough, causing his coaches to rush him to the emergency room. Baltimore is certainly not thankful for the Jonas Brothers, but they may have a soft spot in their heart for pigs.

Bulldog Sweep!

After 6 consecutive NL East titles, and 3 trips to the NLCS in 6 years, mike1184 and the Burlington Bulldgos finally won the ultimate prize, sweeping the 6th seeded Baltimore Dead Homies and mr_orange in the World Series. The Burlington pitching came up big, holding Baltimore to 11 total runs in the 4 games. By contrast, the Dead Homies had been held under 4 runs only 4 times in their other 15 playoff contents this season.

The series started out with an exciting game that saw Baltimore starter Rico Lecuona tire, walking the first two hitters in the 9th while holding a 3-run lead. Lecuona had allowed only 1 hit and 1 walk up to that point. Closer Wolf McGuire was called in to save the day after Lecuona allowed a run-scoring double. After a walk to load the bases, the wolf-man was touched for a walk-off grand slam by Orlando Guillen.

Game two was another barn-burner with a 10th inning game-winner that followed a costly error by P Jonathan Cone. The demoralized Dead Homies put up a solid fight in their return home, but were no match for the vaunted Burlington pitching staff as Edgardo Merced threw a gem. The sweep was complete after Burlington jumped to a 4-run lead with Iago Scott on the mound and finished off the Homies 7-3.

The win capped a meteoric rise for series MVP Orlando Guillen. Guillen was signed out of the Dominican Republic in season 10 and jumped straight to AA. After clubbing 63 HR's at AAA, he became the Bulldog's 3B and managed 39 HR's while finishing 4th in the NL Rookie of the Year voting and winning both the Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards.

Burlington celebrated with colorado bulldogs for everyone. The little-known drink is becoming popular with Burlington fans. It's made by combining the ingredients for a white-russian (vodka, kahula, and cream) with a splash of coke.

Playoff Team Preview

Baltimore Dead Homies (AL #2 Wild Card):
Hitting
Baltimore brings some big sticks to the playoffs with 5 regulars with 30+ HRs including Vin Guapo with a team-leading 56 to go along with his 45 stolen bases in 52 attempts. 8 players hit 20 or more homers for a team that is not afraid to score runs.

Team BA: .292
Team HR: 307
Team SB: 239

Pitching
Rico Lecuona is the staff ace with a 18-4 record and 3.84 ERA. Pablo Saez brings the 2nd big gun 16-7, 3.78. But, the bullpen has had it's issues and probably #3 starter Claude Rakers sports an ERA over 5. Neither closer distinguished himself.

Team ERA: 4.89
Team SV: 45-61
HR allow: 237

NkotB Part Five - Baltimore Dead Homies

History:

For eight seasons, the Wichita Shockers were one of Second City's true flagship franchises. Winning the AL pennant in Season 2 and winning a division championship as recently as a scant two years ago, the Shockers had played to sellout crowds ever since Second City's inception.

However, last season the franchise's previous owner, bigking, well, shocked the Second City world when he sold controlling interest in the Shockers to an ownership group headed by noted restauranteur Mr. Orange. Mr. Orange's story is the stuff of legend. Left for dead after a 1992 raid sponsored by noted gang leader Joe Cabot went terribly awry, miraculously Mr. Orange outlasted Mr. Blond, Mr. Pink and Nice Guy Eddie, and only managed to escape the incident without fatal damage. Determined to avoid a life as a hood, Mr. Orange then proceeded to make his fortune opening the first of many "Crybaby" John Waters themed restaurants throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. When a chance to bring a franchise to his adopted hometown of Baltimore came up, he jumped at the opportunity.

After a protacted lawsuit from the citizens of Wichita, the city, Second City and Mr. Orange settled in the offseason opening up the way for the franchise to back up the trucks and move on out. The Wichita fans are still smarting from the void, and will need a new outlet for their trademark foam fingers.

Outlook:

Fortunately, the cupboard is not bare for the newly-christened Dead Homies. The franchise is coming off of an 89-73 season. Hitting has never been a problem, and with 270 HRs a year ago, the offense will continue to be strong. Camden Yards in Baltimore is one of the stronger hitters parks in the league, so there is not much evidence that numbers will drop off. Additionally Wichita was one of Second City's stronger defensive teams, making a scant 71 errors last season. However, the problem was pitching. Wichita's 4.74 team ERA held the team back from transcendence. While 19 game winner Rico Lecuona returns, the team needs significant improvement in particular from Tommy Wagner, whose 10-14, 6.06 ERA(!) season belies both his talent level and his pay grade. The pitching could give Baltimore GM Divine a real headache.

Name:

While critics of Mr. Orange's speculate that the team name Dead Homies is a reference to his preferred methods of giving an employee his/her "unconditional release", Mr. Orange continues to insist that the name is a tribute to his fallen comrades from that fateful day in 1992. In the interest of full disclosure, this author is too frightened to question Mr. Orange much further.