Thursday, November 6, 2008

NKOtB Part Two: Ottawa Automatons

We're finally back at it with just two more new team profiles to write. evilleteache takes over what was once one of the top franchises in the AL. After some early turmoil ewd330 took over this franchise and plated in Rochester where the team went on to win 5 straight division titles and advanded to the ALCS 4 times in 5 years, even reaching the World Series in Season 7.

After a somewhat disappointing 2nd place finish in one year in Philadelphia, billybob sold the franchise to evilleteache. The megalomaniac evilleteache made his fortune after inventing Chia World, a minaturized globe that grows a color-coded map of the world when special seeds are applied. What began as a way for teache to conquer the world became a commercial success when a local radio station added it to their "news of the weird" segment. After amassing his fortune, he decided to turn to What If Sports. A recent lawsuit alleges that evilleteache actually stole the idea from an episode of Pinky and the Brain.

By relocating to Ottawa, he hopes to avoid the US legal system. The Autmatons are actually named for his 2nd most famous invention, a self-sustaining robot. The robot is able to repair, recharge, and relocate itself for an idefinitie period of time. The break-through was initially praised but was never commerically successful as the robot was incapable of doing anything useful since it was so focused on maintaining itself. It also had the annoying habit of starting every sentence with "biddy-biddy-biddy."

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