Monday, August 24, 2009

OkC gets two of the top three

Oklahoma Gazzette (Bill Peterson)---

"With the second pick of the 2009 Amateur Baseball Draft, the Oklahoma City Fire Hawks select Marcus Wagner, shortstop from Bancroft High School."

Marcus Wagner
Oklahoma City
Fire Hawks
Age: 18B/T: R/R
Born: Wayne, NE
Position(s): SS
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"With the third pick of the 2009 Amateur Baseball Draft, the Oklahoma City Fire Hawks select Tyrone Frey, second baseman from Crossroads Alternative High School."

Tyrone Frey
Oklahoma City
Fire Hawks
Age: 18B/T: R/R
Born: North St. Paul, MN
Position(s): 2B
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With those two statements, made within three minutes of each other, our beloved Oklahoma City re-entered major league baseball. When the Fire Hawks relocated to our city, their draft history was five consecutive years of pitchers being the number one pick. So why, with a new city to call home, did they draft middle infield.
"With our scouting, we were taking a look at the fact that our ML roster average age is 27.5 years, and our middle infield is 29.2 years old. We looked at these two as they played in the national AAU tourney and realized that they could become our foundation for many years to come.", said GM Reigny.
Sources inside the club expects them to be assigned to AA and if they progress as believed, they might even be September call ups.

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Dandy Dozen: Antonio Chapman

Today's HOF post is written by new WCM correspondent, THE SPIN DOCTOR

Antonio Chapman
Texas
Riders
Age: 25B/T: L/L
Born: Anaheim, CA
Position(s): 1B/DH
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Background:
The next Hall of Fame candidate up for discussion is an interesting and admittedly premature one. Antonio Chapman of the Texas Riders has put up such monster numbers in his five years of service that he has opened the eyes of voters. Chapman is a 6’2” left handed first baseman. Any comparisons to Ryan Howard stop there as Chapman is only 25 years old and should have numerous huge years in his future. He was the 8th pick of the draft in season 6 from Frontier High School in Whittier, near Los Angeles. The seven teams who passed on him are kicking themselves as only #1 pick Kevin Canseco has enjoyed any real success in the big leagues. Unfortunately Chapman’s high school has fallen on hard times with budget cuts at $13 million and 25 people losing their jobs.

Antonio, well known around the league as being very cheap, has failed to provide any assistance to his former school.

Resume:
Antonio has a career average of .338 and has had seasons of 67, 69, 81 and 81 home runs. While those numbers are inflated by the homer happy American League, they are still very impressive. He has already won rookie of the year, a hr derby, two mvp trophies, been voted to four all star teams and won three silver slugger awards. Suffice it to say his trophy case is full.

Rest of the Story:
Chapman has already had a very interesting life. He was born out of wedlock to former Playboy playmate, Merle Pertile, who moved to Whittier from Illinois. Antonio’s father is unknown as Merle had no shortage of suitors around town since her 38 inch bust complemented her 5’5” frame exceptionally well. Antonio’s next door neighbor was Fergie, who taught him everything she knows about the birds and the bees. Fergie was said to be well enamored with young Antonio but one night she went to far when her penchant for golden showers turned Antonio off young women for good.

Since then Chapman has been a troubled young man. He has spent time in prison for the rape of a 72 yr old woman while she was walking her dog.

Antonio thought he could get away with his crimes by hiding out in Key West. Unbeknownst to him, Second City commissioner Jwendt has spent a lot of time as the featured webcam dancer at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West. Jwendt instantly recognized Antonio and blew his cover.

After escaping Key West, Antonio took up residence in Chicago. However his attraction to senior citizens did not wane as Antonio used porcelain dolls to try and lure old woman into his clutches.

Chapman certainly has the credentials and talent to make it to the Second City Hall. Whether or not Texas GM jying98 can control Chapman's sick mind is the key to if he actually gets there.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Double Downs Owner Makes Surprise Visit - Firesale Looming?


Las Vegas Double Downs owner gtce made a surprise stop in Sin City yesterday. The Double Downs got off to a terrible start, losing 18 of their first 25, but have since rattled off 4 consecutive wins. Rumors began swirling of a fire sale that could see the franchise, which has never won fewer than 87 games in a season and has missed the playoffs just twice in 12 season, shed a number of big name players. Sparky Dessens, J.R. Milton, and Francis Bird are just 3 of the players rumored to have been discussed.

gtce was reportedly locked in internal meetings all day attempting to decide the future of the franchise. WCM has also learned that Mexico City Bandejos owner, dyuen, was also spotted in Sin City. Does anyone think it a coincidence that the master of franchise-changing trades just so happened to be in Vegas when the Double Downs owner flew in considering moving top name talent?

Friday, August 7, 2009

NKotB Part Three: Tampa Bay Manatees

History: The Manatee Franchise had one shining moment, in season 3, when zachary11 spent wildly on free agents bringing the franchise, then the Charlotte Moon Knights, to the World Series following a 101 win campaign. The team has bee paying for it ever since. The Moon Knights $115M payroll ballooned to $126M by season 5 when threester briefly took over. Darrenmaybeee attempted to pick up the pieces in Season 7, and did his best to add young talent through the draft while keeping the payroll down. However, a budding media career kept Darren's full focus from running the franchise, then based in Washington D.C.

What Happened: In stepped new owner and flamboyant environmentalist, dfdarby. Darby, the 5th generation heir to Thomas Darby, inventory of the Darby Digger (see photo), has dedicated his life to preservation. When the opportunity arose, he just had to get in to baseball. After purchasing the Honor & Courage from DC, Darby immediately moved the franchise to his winter home in Tampa Bay. "I just had to get out of DC," said Darby, "I can't take anymore of those suits." Darby is much better know by his birkenstocks and hemp-based outfits.

Ironically, the outdoorsman and nature lover moved to the team to a dome, but hey, business is business.

The Name: While most believe that the Manatee nickname pays homage to the environmentalist leanings of the owner, the animal's status as endangered has nothing to do with the nickname. The word manatee, is derived from a pre-Columbian Caribbean people's term for breast (manati). dfdarby's other, lesser-known passion is, you guessed it, BOOBS. So he's basically named his franchise after a large swimming boob.