Friday, June 27, 2008

World Series Preview

Salem and San Juan prepare to square off in the World Series VIII. The teams present contrasting styles which could make for a fascinating Series.

San Juan Crownrificos
Strengths: The Rificos are built on pitching and they haven't disappointed with a 3.87 team ERA that was good for 3rd in the league behind Las Vegas and Sioux Falls. The staff has taken it to an even higher level in the playoffs, posting a 2.42 ERA and converting all 5 save opportunities. In the regular season, the staff led the league in K's and was near the top in fewest BB allowed. Lenny Ohman is 3-0 with a 1.36 ERA in the post-season and the bullpen has been untouchable.

Weakness: The team defense is pathetic. During the season, no team made fewer plus plays (5) and only 4 had more minus plays (54). They've picked it up in the post-season though, making just 3 errors while turning in 3 web gems. They're hitting just .245 as a team in the post-season, relying on the long-ball for scoring. Star SS Dan Garcia is hitting just .241 in the playoffs.

Intangibles: They've played 14 games in the post-season, 8 more than Salem. They've won 2 league titles, but have lost in the division series in 5 consecutive years coming into this season.

Salem Grand Salamies
Strengths: The Salamies sport a high-powered offense that displays both speed and power on a regular basis. They're hitting .305 as a team in the post-season. Their team ERA of 5.06 in the regular season isn't bad in a league full of tiny ballparks and bad defense. Can it hold up against the Crownrificos? 87-base stealer Tony Baez is 8-8 in the post-season.

Weakness: The team defense is not good and it's getting worse. They've made 6 errors in 8 post-season games. Is the staff up to the challenge?

Intangibles: They've lost just once in the post season (7-1) and bring a well rested team to the series. Juan Velasquez has been great at the top of the rotation, but #2 starter Greg Jameson has been hit hard in the post-season. Will 3 games without a DH hurt this powerful lineup?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

enfuego GM on hot seat

http://chicagoist.com/2008/06/25/note_to_self_owning_monkey_no_longe.php

The link above takes you to a story about the House passing a bill that would make ownership of non-human primates illegal. sonenlaw has already applied for an exemption for his GM.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Dynasties collide


The Championship series, edition 8 get underway soon, and four of Second City's powerhouses collide. Between them these four squad hold 29 (of a possible 32) division championships, 7 league championships, and four of the seven World Series titles.

In the AL, Salem, 8-time division champ, 3-time pennant winner, and World Series Champ in Season 3 (only time the AL won) takes on Rochester, 5-time consecutive winner of the AL East and last year's AL pennant winner. In the past 5 seasons, these two squads have met only once in post-season play. Salem won an ALCS matchup in Season 5. In the regular season, Rochester took 6 of 10 meetings, 5 of 6 in Salem.

In the NL, San Juan, 6-time division champ, 8-time playoff participant, winner of the first two World Series crowns, takes on defending champ Sioux falls, an 8-time division champ, hoping to even its NLCS record at 2-2 with a series win. Amazingly, in 8 years in the same half of the bracket, San Juan and Sioux Falls met only once, in Season 2, with San Juan winning 3 consecutive elimination games to take the series in 7 games. This year, the Dakota won 8 of 10 regular season meetings (3-1 road, 5-1 home).

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Staph and Staff

After losing their #1 starter Joe Randolph to a pre-playoff injury, many in Monterry were cautious about a successful postseason for the Quistas. Now, with star closer and fireman of the year candidate Ned Rivera also picking up a season ending injury, rumors have begun to flare.

"You know, LeCharles Bentley visited Carson Sherman the other week asking about the Mexican Football League and his chances of being picked up by a team in that league." claims Estadio Monterrey facility manager Pepe Pepito. "Although the meeting was over quickly when LeCharles realized that the football league here played a different sport... one has to wonder about the staph infections that beleaguered the Cleveland Browns for the last two seasons."

This statement brought to the media's attention that neither Randolph nor Rivera had their injury listed on the roster. However, as of 9pm Central Mexican time, the 'Quista roster was updated with Randolph listed with an elbow injury and Rivera with shoulder tendinitis. It remains to be discovered whether the original blank injury cards were indeed hiding a potential staph breakout or not.

Jose DeSoto, Monterrey Bullpen Coach chimed in: "We're hoping for some sort of double-Ewing theory here. Maybe this will inspire the kids to play hard and get on a roll.

Fans were not as optimistic,as one fan commented during today's playoff game: "As long as Chance Moriarity doesn't get staph in his one good remaining batting eye, maybe he'll drive in a post season run."

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

1st round matchups




Richmond (92-70) vs Cincinnati (94-68, WC)
- Richmond makes it's 4th consecutive trip to the playoffs following a division win while Cincy is playing in imaginary October for the 1st time ever. The Confederates really bang the ball, hitting 321 HR's, good for 2nd in the league. The Great Americans made a name on their pitching staff, leading the AL in ERA. They also outscored the 'Feds by 26 runs on the season due to their furious legs, stealing a league-high 309 bases.

Questions to answer: Can jack rabbits Manny Corey, Travis Mota, and crew be held in check by Fed catcher Eric Richardson who napped just over 30% of those attempting to run on him this year?

Can Great Americans starters Grover Little and Max Molina hold the down the Fed bats?
Monterrey (93-69) vs Texas (93-69, WC) - Monterrey won a tie-breaker to gain home field advantage over division rival Texas. The 'Quistas are making their 8th consecutive trip to the post season, still in search of their first world title. They bring a .302 team average and the best defense in the AL to the party. Meanwhile, the Riders are making their post season debut behind a balanced squad that finished above average in most categories.

Questions to answer: Can strong-armed Jaime Anderson slow record-setting running by 'Quista leadoff man Roberto Servet (129 SB)?

Will Monterrey Pitching Coach Rigo Valdez' unortodox e-man rotation excel or fold in the post-season?


Burlington (90-72) vs San Juan (97-65, WC) - Burlington shocked 2nd city powerhouses San Juan and Mexico City in last season's playoffs. They hold the home-field advantage, but San Juan was 7 games better and is out for blood. The Bulldogs hit just .259 as a team and finished 9th in the NL in runs scored while the Crownrificos led the league in runs scored and finished 2nd in HRs. The 'Rificos also have a big advantage in the pen where the Bulldogs converted just 49 or 74 save opportunities.

Questions to answer: Can Burlington repeat last year's exciting run by improving upon their 23-28 record in one-run games?

Is a Crownrifico team made up largely of 30+ year-olds up for a long playoff run?

Sioux Falls (103-59) vs Cheyenne (96-66, WC) - Sioux Falls is the reigning WS champ and they recently added ace pitcher Bartolo Gonzalez to one of the top rotations in the game, but a faltering bullpen caused a late-season skid. Cheyenne makes its 4th career post season trip, but they haven't been past round 1 since Season 1. They're the worst fielding team in the post season, but can score runs in bunches.

Questions to answer: Will Cheyenne be able to hit top starters Bartolo Gonzalez and Paul Rhodes, whom they might face in 4 of the 5 games?

Can a struggling Sioux Falls bullpen close out playoff games after blowing 24 save opportunities?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Season end brings individual drama

Game 162 will be played this evening, and while the playoff participants have been decided, their seeds and matchups have not. Perhaps the more compelling stories are a few individual statistical races and record-setting performances.

Gus Forbes has taken advantage of the rarefied air in Colorado to slug 76 HRs, besting Banjo White of Houston's record of 74 set last season. Monterey's Roberto Servet has stolen 127 bases, smashing Phillip Moore's single season record of 109, set in Season 1. Servet has yet to agree to a contract for next season.

The AL batting titles is set to go to Salem's David Rivera, currently sporting a .367 average. The NL race is a real nail biter, with Ross Baker of Pawtuckett currently trailing Bart Carlyle of Charlotte by the slimmest of margins. Baker is 203-584, for a .34760 average while Carlyle is 154 of 443 for a .34763 average. If either outdoes the other in tonight's action, they will take home the crown.

The only other individual race in the triple crown categories is Sioux Falls Joaquin Medrano with 157 RBI's to Mexico City's Alex Shibata with 155 RBI's with just a game remaining.

Richmond's Dick Caruso, a potential free agent this off-season, has 485 career homers. Caruso had hoped to be the first to reach the 500-HR plateau this year, but would have needed 69 HR's, one shy of his career high, to reach the mark. Caruso hopes to use the lure of a 500th HR chase to land a massive deal. Caruso once signed a 5-year, $110 million deal, the league's richest contract to date. At 33 years old, his not deal is not likely to match that one.

Ross Baker
Pawtucket
Quahog Crush
Age: 32B/T: S/R
Born: Chesterfield, VA
Position(s): 1B/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Monday, June 9, 2008

Outlaw owner threatens coaches - Firey Viriato responds


Los Angeles Outlaws owner PirateFan13 challenged his coaching staff to correct what he calls an underachieving season. The Outlaws, a wild-card team last season, continue to hover around the .500 mark which is franchise tradition.

Thirty nine-year-old manager, Valerio Viriato responded to the challenge as only he can. "I expect him to do something ... it can't be me, it can be [hitting coach] Pete Kroeger, it can be the players, anybody."

Viriato, the youngest manager in the league, is known for his multi-lingual, profanity laced tirades. The quotes above have been translated by Windy City Musings linguistic consultant Oznie Guillen.

Viriato continued, "I'm sick and tired of watching this [bleep]. If they can't get it done, PirateFan should find should find someone to get it done."

The Outlaws have really struggled with the bats, hitting .261 collectively. Only 1B Kurt Jordan has hit more than 20 HRs (34), but he's batting just .228. RF Brandon Crawford is the only full-time player currently hitting over .300.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Mariotti Strikes Again

The sportswriter Chicago loves to hate has found his way to Windy City Musings. A reliable source within the Las Vegas organization discovered that Jay Mariotti has decided to bring his unique form of "journalism" to the Windy City Musings under the pen 'Doc'. It was easy to tell that Mariotti had infiltrated the blog due to the lack of checking resources, revisionist league history, and misquoting multiple items within the article. All in an effort to defame the proud Las Vegas franchise owner GTCE.

The owner of the Doubles Downs did not lose a bet to the shady Bandejos owner requiring his attendance of a White Sox game, yet the long time Cubs fan was drugged, stuffed in a trunk, and taken to the Southside of Chicago from his luxurious Northside home. The kidnappers, now identified as the Doc Mariotti Four, tortured GTCE 'Clockwork Orange' style through 15 innings of so called baseball. Interviewed after the ordeal, the owner of the Double Downs said he survived only by eating a serving of elotes and some churros.

Jay "Doc" Mariotti who is too afraid to enter the Chicago White Sox clubhouse has been permanently banned from the state of Nevada due to his lack of journalist integrity. This will be a major blow to Doc Mariotti as he has already paid in full for a life time membership to the infamous Nevada brothel the Bunnyland Ranch.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The House Loses


Compulsive gambler and owner of the Las Vegas Double Downs GTC, in an attempt to take advantage of the innocent and inexperienced wagerer Doc, proposed a bet on the recent 3 game series between the Double Downs and the Bandejos. The teams were battling for the #1 seed and a bye in the playoffs. The Mexico residents, never one to forget a grudge, always raise their game against the Double Downs ever since the cocky comments made by the Double Downs prior to a playoff series way back in season 4 turned into bulletin board material that inspired the Bandejos to a 5 game rout and propelled them to their first World Series title.


This time was no different as the Bandejos took out their whipping sticks and swept Vegas to set them 6 games back in the hot playoff race. Doc considered the traditional payoffs for bets of this nature: (1) an exchange of tokens from the respective cities, in this case tequilla worms for stripper tassels; (2) forcing GTC to sing the Fighting Illini alma matter; (3) requiring GTC to dress up like a girl and prance around through Eggville.


However, since Doc's girlfriend threw out his tassel collection, GTC can't sing a lick, and well, quite honestly, dressing up like a girl is nothing new for GTC, Doc opted for a different form of payment. Last night GTC had to attend a baseball game at Doc's beloved Comiskey Park (we don't use that new name). GTC compared the experience to being not quite as horrific as going to Lambeau Field. As an added punishment, Doc arranged to give closer Bobby Jenks a bottle of Jim Beam if he would blow the save, which he gladly accepted. The game was then extended to 15 painful innings for GTC, and the last 3 were played in a cold heavy rain. To top off the evening well-known Doc kronie, Kraz, dumped GTC out of the car in a shady barren area of downtown Chicago. Stay tuned to this drama as GTC has vowed to get revenge in the playoffs.

Optomitrist fires back!

Sioux Falls Dakota team optometrist Dr. Johan van Gooschveticals has finally issued a statement in response to what he calls the frivolous claims of chicanery by the Monterrey Conquistadors organization against the Dakota.

Former Dakota 1B, and Season 5 MVP runner up (.321-39-142 in Season 5) Chance Moriarty was dealt to the 'Quistas recently. He has struggled mightily all season, posting a .253 average with just 12 HRs since arriving south of the border.

Gooschveticals has been widely criticized for failing to proper diagnose and treat Moriarty's eye condition, apparently brought on by excessive poker playing in Sioux Falls Indian Casinos. "I was none too happy to see Moriarty go. Optometry doesn't pay what it used to and having a patsy like that playing in cash games twice a week really helped my bottom line. But I gave him state-of-the-art eye care." Gooschveticals has twice been named South Dakota optometrist of the year, beating out both other contenders. "I even gave Chance special glasses to wear, but he refuses to play in them." The glasses, pictured above, provide adaptive lenses, easily adjusted by turning one of forty seven knobs depending on the pitch type expected.

Dakota team owner jwendt has identified another possible cause. "Chance is a great guy, but he's prone to certain things. All those cheap tacos and tequilla ... - let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if Chance has put on a few pounds and maybe spends some late nights with the senioritas. Hey - nothing against that, but seriously, would you wear a mustache like that if you weren't trying to star in a Mexican porn flick?"

Chance Moriarty
Monterrey
Conquistadors
Age: 28B/T: L/L
Born: Hydro, OK
Position(s): 1B/LF/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Clash of the Titans

Two of Second City's best clash today as the Sioux Falls Dakota send Paul Rhodes (16-2, 1.75 ERA) to the hill against their hated rivals, the Las Vegas Double Downs who counter with Delino Fischer (16-1, 2.66 ERA).

The Double Downs and Dakota have a long history, battling for the 2nd seed and first round bye in each of the league's first 7 seasons. Both teams have won their division each year and they have finished within 3 games of each other in each of the past 4 seasons. The teams have met in the playoffs 3 times, with the Dakota winning twice.

The upcoming series is key for both teams as they currently sit just two games apart. The 83-42 Dakota hold the #2 overall spot in the standings while the 81-44 Double Downs could take the lead with a series sweep. The Mexico City Bandejos currently lead the NL with an 87-38 record.

Paul Rhodes
Sioux Falls
Dakota
Age: 28B/T: S/R
Born: Long Beach, CA
Position(s): P (SP1)
View Hardball Dynasty Profile


Delino Fischer
Las Vegas
Double Downs
Age: 29B/T: R/R
Born: S Charleston, OH
Position(s): P (SP2)
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

SB Record Broken; Dakota Manager fumes; Mexican team protests

In a season filled with bizarre HR derby finishes, surprise potential playoff teams, and the complete and utter abandonment of a franchise - the news only gets weirder. This week, Roberto Servet, of the Monterrey Conquistadors broke the Second City stolen base record previously held by Phillip Moore, of the franchise now known as the Scranton Nittany Lions.

While the breaking of a record does not, on the surface, appear bizarre - the response was. Defiant Sioux Falls manager The J was outspoken about it: "They (Quistas) clearly set out an agenda to tackle this record with little or no regard for playing to win. We all know stealing bases does not statistically benefit a team to win." J continued: "Furthermore, the absolute disregard for defensive minded catchers has only compounded this disease."

The reactions did not stop there. Part of the Conquistadors' push to have a run happy team was the adoption of a "Run for the Border" special at all home games. For each Quista stolen base, fans would be able to use the game ticket for a free taco at any participating Taco Bell. Other Mexican/Latin American/Caribbean team managers were defiant in their protestation of the promo. Manager of the other Mexican franchise, Doc: "Come on. We have enough problems with actual "running for the border" and having to do birthday songs at mexican restaurants... we don't need any more watering down of our culture." Wang of San Juan chimed in: "Hey, at least we're not Mexican."

Scranton tried to remain unfazed by the news, but local paper distributer Dunder Mifflin printed hundreds of flyer copies with "We don't need Tacos, we've got the Amish" and "Moore would 'Beet' Servet anyday." Although the majority of the public are still unsure of the meaning, the manager of Dunder Mifflin is well known for bouts of eccentricity.

Update: the Las Vegas manager recently responded to the record breaking, "It's certainly not a bad idea encouraging promotions. I could possibly talk to city council about lap dances for home runs."