Optomitrist fires back!

Sioux Falls Dakota team optometrist Dr. Johan van Gooschveticals has finally issued a statement in response to what he calls the frivolous claims of chicanery by the Monterrey Conquistadors organization against the Dakota.

Former Dakota 1B, and Season 5 MVP runner up (.321-39-142 in Season 5) Chance Moriarty was dealt to the 'Quistas recently. He has struggled mightily all season, posting a .253 average with just 12 HRs since arriving south of the border.

Gooschveticals has been widely criticized for failing to proper diagnose and treat Moriarty's eye condition, apparently brought on by excessive poker playing in Sioux Falls Indian Casinos. "I was none too happy to see Moriarty go. Optometry doesn't pay what it used to and having a patsy like that playing in cash games twice a week really helped my bottom line. But I gave him state-of-the-art eye care." Gooschveticals has twice been named South Dakota optometrist of the year, beating out both other contenders. "I even gave Chance special glasses to wear, but he refuses to play in them." The glasses, pictured above, provide adaptive lenses, easily adjusted by turning one of forty seven knobs depending on the pitch type expected.

Dakota team owner jwendt has identified another possible cause. "Chance is a great guy, but he's prone to certain things. All those cheap tacos and tequilla ... - let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if Chance has put on a few pounds and maybe spends some late nights with the senioritas. Hey - nothing against that, but seriously, would you wear a mustache like that if you weren't trying to star in a Mexican porn flick?"

Chance Moriarty Monterrey Conquistadors Age: 28 B/T: L/L Born: Hydro, OK Position(s): 1B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Clash of the Titans

Two of Second City's best clash today as the Sioux Falls Dakota send Paul Rhodes (16-2, 1.75 ERA) to the hill against their hated rivals, the Las Vegas Double Downs who counter with Delino Fischer (16-1, 2.66 ERA).

The Double Downs and Dakota have a long history, battling for the 2nd seed and first round bye in each of the league's first 7 seasons. Both teams have won their division each year and they have finished within 3 games of each other in each of the past 4 seasons. The teams have met in the playoffs 3 times, with the Dakota winning twice.

The upcoming series is key for both teams as they currently sit just two games apart. The 83-42 Dakota hold the #2 overall spot in the standings while the 81-44 Double Downs could take the lead with a series sweep. The Mexico City Bandejos currently lead the NL with an 87-38 record.

Paul Rhodes Sioux Falls Dakota Age: 28 B/T: S/R Born: Long Beach, CA Position(s): P (SP1) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Delino Fischer Las Vegas Double Downs Age: 29 B/T: R/R Born: S Charleston, OH Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Season Preview Part One - AL North

Welcome to the first in a series of division previews. This year we start with the AL North, because, well they're on the top of the standings page. For each division I'll give you predictions, strengths and weaknesses, and a little bit of history including the reason for each team's name. If you're wondering how I know why they were named, well, I don't. In most cases I'll be completely inventing that for your enjoyment. Hopefully I don't offend anyone in the process. If I do, hopefully you're not one of the handful of owners that knows where I live :-)

Rochester Rockets
History - Rochester, NY is actually the southern most home of this storied franchise. The franchise was founded by welsh5 in Toronto. They briefly played in Fargo as the Fargin' Idiots under evancan. Unfortunately a legal battle related to franchise succession caused the team to be put up for sale. ewd won the team at auction for a fraction of its true value. Since acquiring the team, ewd has won the North every season, 3 times winning 114 or more games and culminating in a trip to the World Series last year.

The Rockets were named for ewd's favorite college football team, the Toledo Rockets. Why is Toledo his favorite team? He won $20 on the 1995 Las Vegas Bowl when the Rockets edged Nevada 40-37.

Strengths - There may be no team in Second City with the offensive firepower of the Rockets. Ventura (68 HRs), Mateo (64), Padilla (44), Greer (39), and Lee (33) all return and have the ability to hit it out of the yard. They aren't afraid to run either, Jenkins (63 of 67), Lewis (53 of 62), and Fischer (34 of 35) steal bases like kmueller eats kabobs. They will scores runs in bunches so you better be ready to hit back.

Weaknesses - They're not great with the gloves. Jenkins made 28 errors @ SS last year, but that's just nit-picking. The real concern is the staff. Nobody in that rotation scares you, but they're plenty good with that offense behind them.

Odds - 1:2 to win the division, 3:1 to win the pennant - the odds on favorites to win both the division and the league, they will continue to club their way through the AL.


Vancouver Jets
History Vancouver is an original franchise, having played in Vancouver from the very start. The franchise hit its low-point in Season 7, going 62-100. While they've never reached the playoffs, the Jets are aiming for a turnaround.

The Jets are named for the hockey team that played in Winnipeg. Owner hcohenmb, a known Canadian sympathizer, was so shocked when he heard the Jets were leaving Winnipeg to head west, he only assumed they'd be headed to Vancouver, making it hockey's first 2-team market in the Canada. Alas, the Jets went to Phoenix (now the Coyotes). This franchise makes his dream come true.

Strengths - 1B Miguel Machado, 3B Nolan Sweeney and C/DH Allen Villone are all quality hitters that carry an average offense. The pitching staff is full of quality veterans but lacks a true leader.

Weaknesses - This team lacks star power. While 14 players make $1M or more, no player makes over $6.8M and it shows. Help may be on the way though; future ace Winston Silvestri reached AAA last season and is almost ready to contribute. Fellow season 6 1st rounder Graham Reynolds is hot on his tail. The two should form the core of a solid rotation in season 9. Wilfredo Moraga is the big position prospect, but he's a couple years away.

Odds - 15:1 to win division, 150:1 to win the pennant - the young pitchers aren't quite ready to carry this team.

Cincinnati Great Americans
History - Cincyredlegs is the 7th owner in 8 seasons of this franchise. The team has never made the playoffs but has finished 2nd three times. The franchise seems to gravitate toward Ohio with 3 different owners choosing to make Cincy their home and a fourth locating the team in Cleveland.

While the Reds play in Great American ballpark, the franchise is actually named for a long-lost relative of Cincy, Captain William S. Tough. Read his story here: http://members.tripod.com/~Penningtons/redlegs.htm
Despite the reputation - cincy considers Cpt. Tough to be a GREAT AMERICAN

Strengths - This squad is full of above average hitters including future stars, 22-year old Manny Corey and 23-year old Roosevelt Gilkey. A cadre of young middle infielders drafted over the past 3 years promise to improve both the lineup and the defense in the near future.

Weaknesses - Grover Little and Alex Bautista lead an ok staff that's been punished by a porous defense and hitter-friendly ballpark.

Odds - 4:1 to win the division, 25:1 to win the pennant - young hitting and defense will start to pick up the pitching.

Montreal Clouseaus
History - After winning division titles in seasons 1-3 playing out of Detroit, a furious sportsnut threatened to move the franchise following 2nd place, wild card finish in Season 4. After being convinced to stay by city authorities, sportsnut missed the playoffs and left Second City forever.
The Clouseaus are named, as you might presume, for Inspector Clouseau, of the Pink Panther series. The Inspector is of course French, as is the culture in Montreal. This is all very creative, but what you don't know is that Clouseauss owner Jackster89's 2nd cousin Leonard Rossiter actually played Superintendent Quinlan in The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976).

Strengths - Slugging C Brad Banks (58 HRs) leads the offense along with Mitchell Hammonds. Moose Gates and JR Milton head the rotation and stopper Carl Brooks (222 career saves) anchors the pen.

Weaknesses - Depth and defense are issues. There's only one true SS on the roster and he can't hit. Five Rule V selections (3 from the Sioux Falls Dakota) are an attempt to address the issue but the minor league system requires similar additions. Most of the top picks the past 3 seasons have been high schoolers, so while there's talent, it's not all that close to helping the big league squad.

Odds - 10:1 to win division, 100:1 to win the pennant. Consistent ownership could turn this club around fairly quickly.

Sioux Falls announces Game 3 Entertainment

With the World Series making it's first appearance in the great state of South Dakota, the franchise is sparing no expense with the entertainment.

Myron Floren, best known as the accoridanist on The Lawrence Welk Show between 1950 and 1982, will play the National Anthem prior to Game 3 in Sioux Falls. Floren headlined the Strawberry Festival in Plant City and PolkaFest at the Welk Resort in fabulous Branson, MO. Floren was inducted into the International Polka Hall of Fame in 1990.

Season 7 Surprises, Part Three (starting pitchers)

Every team is always on the lookout for starting pitching. When something clicks, and a pitchers unexpectedly contributes, it can help a team immensely. Surprise pitching performances aren't easy to come by, but Season 7 has seen a few.

Daniel Cox Rochester Rockets Age: 28 B/T: L/L Born: Lakeville, MN Position(s): P (SP3) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Daniel Cox had a great year in Season 4, going 16-4 with 3.43 ERA. Since then, he's been a solid, if unspectacular performer, going 26-13, with an ERA just over 5.00 in seasons 5-6. He's been a monster this season, going 12-0 in 18 starts, with a 4.19 ERA. He's allowing less than a hit per inning and is posting the best strikeout rate of his career (106K's in 118 IP). This is the first year of a 4-year, $24 million deal for Cox, Rochester Rockets couldn't be happier with his production.

Curtis Towers Sioux Falls Dakota Age: 29 B/T: R/R Born: New Lisbon, WI Position(s): P (SP4) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

The Sioux Falls Dakota claimed Curtis Towers off waivers late in season 6. Towers, then 28 years-old, had posted an ERA of 8.13 out of the bullpen for the Texas Riders. Towers post a 3-21 (11.52 ERA) record in Season 4 while making his major league debut. After a 6-15, 5.88 performance in Season 5, the Riders had seen enough. The once promising Towers was banished to the pen where he went 3-7 with that 8.13 ERA. When the Riders put him on waivers, there were big questions as to whether anyone would give him another shot. When Towers walked into the Sioux Falls clubhouse, pitching coach Sean Adams was the first to greet him. Adams worked closely with Towers and he went 4-4 with a 3.93 ERA in 9 starts. After completely overhauling Towers mechanics, and convincing him to trust his defense, Towers won a spot in the Dakota rotation in the spring. Towers lost his first start of Season 7, allowing 6 runs in just 5 2/3 innings. Doubts had to be creeping into his mind.

Then something clicked. Towers threw 6 scoreless innings in each of his next two starts. He got the win in 5 straight and 6 of 7, making the All-Star team. He's thrown at least 5 innings in every outing, and hasn't yielded more than 4 runs in a single game since that first outing. Now it's likely that Towers will be throwing game 1 or 2 of a playoff series. "I owe my career to Sean Adams." His agent owes Adams a thing or two as well. Tower will make $1.425 million in this his first arbitration season. You can count a far bigger payday in the near future if his success continues.