One for the Ages

Three of the four opening games went to extra innings, but one certainly stood out.

The Monterrey Conquistadors and Kansas City Blues staged one for the ages in game 1 of their AL Division Series. Among the stunning totals from the game are: 14 innings, 32 runs, 46 hits, 15 walks, 7 home runs, and 517 pitches.

The instant classic started with a twist as the Conquistadors starter, Rich Harris faced only two hitters before leaving in a planned move. An Andruw Leach HR gave the host Blues a 2-0 lead in the bottom of the 3rd. The 'Quistas answered with a run of their own in the 4th to make it 2-1. William Miyakazi sparked a 'Quista rally in the 5th knocking in 2 with an RBI triple and later scoring; Monterrey leads 4-2 in the middle of the 5th.

The bats for both sides got going with a 2-run HR for KC (Blake) in the 5th. Monterrey answered with 2 more runs in the top of the 6th to make it 6-4. All was quiet until the bottom of the 7th when KC tied the game up on a bases loaded walk to Rivera. Monterrey stormed back with 6 runs in the top of the 8th, effectively icing the game and sending thousands of Kansas City schoolchildren to bed angry. But the Blues didn't fold, getting back 2 in the 8th on Tony Baez double, one of his 5 hits on the day. Baez wouldn't stay a hero for long though. Kansas City's furious 9th inning rally, saw them tie the game on an RBI double, leaving the winning run on 3rd with nobody. But Andruw Leach fanned and Baez weak grounder could score the run. Another strike out and we were on to extra innings, tied at 12.

After 3 scoreless frames, William Miyakazi hitting a 3-run HR. Livan Pascual couldn't make it stand though as HR's by Ewell Corey and Al Matthews knotted the game at 15. After Monterrey failed to capitalize on a Baez error in the top of the 14th, KC came to bat again. Justin Blake reached on a single but was gunned down by D. Cheng, the 'Quistas backup catcher. Max Molina relieved Pascual after the 2nd out, but he walked Rivera, bringing the dangerous Corey back to the plate. For the 2nd time in as many innings, the game hung in the balance with Corey at the plate. The 33-year old who had never hit a playoff HR prior to the 13th inning, lit into a 2-1 fastball and sent it soaring into CF. CF Miyakazi thought he had a bead on the ball but his leap came up just short and Corey had a walk-off HR to go with his game-saving 3-run shot an inning earlier.

JUDGEMENT DAY

Well, it's here. For the first time in Second City History (I think - too lazy to look), all 4 wild-card series are headed to game 5. A brief re-cap of how we got there.

Baltimore jumped out to a 2-0 lead on the road, bombing 2 Fightin Friar starters including Chico Molina (gm 1 8-3, gm 2 18-1). By the Friars came back on the road behind 8 innings of one-hit ball from Dude Wheeler in Game 3 and a 4-HR attack in Game 4. The road team in 4-0 in this series, which returns to SF for it's thrilling conclusion.

Scranton got 3 in the 9th on a Joe Clarke HR and stranded the potential tie run at 3B in Game 1 against Monterrey. 3 of the first 4 hitters homered in the 2nd as Monterrey cruised to a game 2 win over Neil Henderson. Game 3 dragged on for a grueling 13 innings with only 3 extra inning base runners until Jorge Torres got his first hit of the night, a 2-run, walk-off HR allowed by the creatively named Brad Bradley. Game 4 saw Monterrey escape elimination in a thrilling come-from-behind win with PR Andrew Boyd just beating a throw home to score the go-ahead run on PH Tito Kwon's double. Kudos to manager Brandon Taylor for those two substitutions.

In the NL, San Juan peppered Cheyenne with 19 hits to win gm 1 8-4. Then backup C Willard Hitchcock homered 3 times to secure 7-5 victory in game 2. But, Cheyenne battled back at home winning game 3 8-7 with the despite the potential tie run reaching first with nobody out in the 9th. Game 4 was a Seminole game all the way with Gergie Regan and Adam Henry combing to allow just 1 run on 8 hits.

Perhaps the wildest series has been between Helena and Sioux Falls. The exhausted Dakota sent 36-year old Bartolo Gonzalez to the mind in Game 1 and he rewarded them with shut out innings in a 5-0 win over 3-time Cy Young Rafael Aguilera. The Dakota took a 4-3 lead to the bottom of the 9th in Helena in game 2 before D'Angelo Castillo's 2-run, walkoff HR. Sioux Falls trailed 5-1 in game 3 before a furious comeback, topped off by a 4-run 8th to win 5-4. CF Alex Bennett made consecutive errors in the 9th to bring the tie run to the plate before Victor Chavez redeemed himself by escaping the jam (he had blown game 2). Game 4 once again saw Aguilera on the hill, but he left with the Dakota leading 4-3. However, back-to-back HR's in the 8th and a 3-run 9th salted away the win for the Hound Dogs. Sioux Falls ace, Paul Rhodes takes the hill for the first time in a win-or-go-home game 5 in Helena.

Playoff Preview Season 13

Well, an exciting finish to the regular season saw Mexico City sweep San Juan amidst calls for better insurance to secure a bye and the #2 seed in the NL. Meanwhile, Las Vegas, Helena, Sioux Falls, and Cheyenne all won must-win 162nd games. This completed 6 game streaks to finish the season for both Cheyenne and Sioux Falls. The upshot was that Las Vegas was eliminated on a tie-breaker yielding these first round matchups.

Odds are to win league pennant, all rankings are within league unless otherwise noted.

American League
#6 Scranton Nittany Lions 10-1
Record: 95-67 (AL 2nd wild card)
Offense: 8th: 962 R, .265 Ave (2nd fewest SB)
Defense: 8th: 868 R, 4.89 ERA (244 HR allowed worst of AL playoff teams)
History: 5th consecutive and 6th overall appearance, best finish: WS loser in Season 11
vs.
#3 Monterrey Conquistadors 12-1
Record: 97-65 (winner AL South)
Offense: 7th: 963 R, .295 Ave (.364 OBP trails only KC)
Defense: 6th: 841 R, 4.77 ERA (tandem rotation rocks conventional wisdom)
History: 12th appearance, 9th division title, best finish, WS loser in Season 6

Outlook: Monterrey's tandem rotation meets surprising entrant, with 8th ranked O & D. WCM PICK: Monterrey
-----------
bye
#2 Kansas City Blues 5-2
Record: 102-60 (winner AL North)
Offense: 2nd: 1056 R, .305 Ave (207 HR fewest of playoff teams)
Defense: 3rd: 800 R, 4.56 ERA (.422 Slg allowed & 1123 K's best in AL)
History: 2nd consecutive division title (5 overall), 6 total appearances, best finish: lost ALCS season 11
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#5 Baltimore Dead Homies 8-1
Record: 99-63 (AL 1st wild card)
Offense: 6th: 986 R, .282 BA (219 SB 2nd in AL)
Defense: 4th: 820 R, 4.59 ERA (20 Blown Saves worst among AL playoff teams)
History: 5th consecutive wild card, 10th overall appearance, best finish: WS loser, seasons 2 and 12
vs.
#4 San Francisco Fightin Friars 3-1
Record: 94-68 (winner AL West)
Offense: 5th: 991 R, .293 Ave (hardest AL team to K - 904)
Defense: 1st: 771 R, 4.40 ERA (fewest HR all)
History: 2nd consecutive division title, 2nd appearance, best finish, lost in ALCS Season 12

Outlook: San Fran's excellent pitching and defense meet the speed of Baltimore WCM Pick - Baltimore
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bye
#1 Richmond Confederates 3-1
Record: 107-55 (winner AL East)
Offense: 3rd, 1050 R, 2.83 Ave (337 HR lead league)
Defense: 2nd, 774 R, 4.44 ERA (53-64 SV, tops in AL)
History: 5th division title, 8th consecutive appearance (8 overall), best finish: WS Champs season 9
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National League
#6 Sioux Falls Dakota (15-1)
Record: 89-73 NL 2nd wild card by virtue of tie-breaker over Las Vegas
Offense: 3rd: 831 R, .263 Ave (129 SB 2nd among NL playoff teams)
Defense: 11th: 751 R, 4.30 ERA (219 HR allowed 3rd worst in NL)
History: 1st wild card after 12 consecutive division titles, best finish: WS Champs in Season 7 and 10
vs.
#3 Helena Hound Dogs 9-1
Record: 90-72 Winner NL North
Offense: 11th: 735 R, .265 Ave (193 HRs last among playoff teams, and better only than Pittsburgh)
Defense: 5th: 673 R, 3.73 ERA (172 HR allowed, best in NL)
History: 1st division title, 4th playoff appearance, best finish: never won a division series

Outlook: Exhausted Dakota rotation takes on best pitcher in the game in Aguilera. WCM PICK - Helena
----------
Bye
#2 Mexico City Bandejos 2-1
Record: 95-67 Winner NL South
Offense: 1st: 869 R, .275 Ave (255 HRs 18 better than any other in NL)
Defense: 2nd: 654 R, 3.68 ERA (.240 OAV tops in NL)
History: 7th straight division title, 10th straight appearance, 10 overall appearances, best finish: WS Champs seasons 4, 5, 6, and 11
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#5 San Juan Crownrificos 5-1
Record: 94-68 1st NL Wild Card
Offense: 12th: 714 R, .257 Ave (25 SB half the next worst team in NL)
Defense: 3rd: 657 R, 3.69 ERA (1184 K's led NL)
History: 11th appearance (6 division titles, 5 wild cards), best finish: WS Champs SEason 1, 2, and 8
vs.
#4 Cheyenne Seminoles 5-1
Record: 90-72 Winner NL West
Offense: 10th: 750 R, .259 Ave (202 SB, 2nd in NL and tops in playoffs)
Defense: 1st: 638 R, 3.63 ERA (172 HR, 452 BB, .383 SLG all led NL)
History: 5th consecutive division title, 6th straight appearance (9 overall), best finish: Lost NLCS seasons 1 and 9

outlook: battle of bad hitting/great pitching teams comes down to the little things, injuries undermine experienced Crownrificos WCM PICK - Cheyenne
----------
Bye
#1 Burlington Bulldogs 3-1
Record: 98-64 Winner NL East (first non-NL South team with #1 seed in NL)
Offense: 8th: 776 R, .250 Ave (only Pawtucket had worse BA)
Defense: 4th: 666 R, 3.73 ERA (56 SV led NL)
History: 7th straight division title, 7 overall appearances, best finish: WS Champs Season 12

kmueller's wife and the Husafell Stone

The wife of Monterrey owner kmueller was recently revealed to be a former contestant in the World's Strongest Man competition. The heretofore unknown Mrs. kmueller actually won a regional qualifier in the 2002 competition held on Marco Island, FL.

She advanced to the US Final where she, the only woman ever to compete in the the World's Strongest Man, was eliminated in round one by Phil Pfister, seen here winning the keg toss event. Mrs. kmueller was disqualified after attempting to empty the keg, through a funnel into her mouth prior to throwing over bar.


kmueller began courting his future wife shortly after the regional qualifier, which she won on the strength of her amazing performance in the Fireman's Carry event, in which competitor's are asked to carry the dead weight of a drunken commissioner jwendt up as many flights of stairs as possible. After Magnus ver Magnussen set a seemingly unbreakable mark of 23 stories, the future Mrs. kmueller lugged the commish an amazing 94 flights, enough to reach the top of John Hancock Center. Needless to say, the wife's carrying ability has since come in quite handy since she married kmueller, the human equivalent of a Husafel Stone.

Asked the source of her incredible powers, Mrs. kmueller would only smile, but it's widely believed her powers come from the magical pens she keeps with her at all times.

Playoff Previews (AL)

As the playoffs approach - a quick preview of each team:

1-Richmond (115-47) - The top team in the AL leads the way with pitching. They allowed the fewest runs in the AL by a wide margin. The solid offense relies on speed, with a league-high 263 SBs and power (324 Hrs).
Key Player: 60-60 man Julio Nunez hit .330 while stealing 67 bags and pounding 62 HRs.
Weakness: Tough to find one on a team that won 115 games, plays good defense, and had their closer go 37-38 in save opportunities. Three starters did strike out 100+ times so we'll go with that.
History: 4th straight year in the playoffs but they've never been to the World Series.

4-Monterrey (89-73) - They rank 8th in the AL in runs scored, 7th in runs allowed, and 9th in fielding. At 211 their HR total was the 3rd lowest in the AL. How is this team the 4 seed? Creative managing and a non-traditional 3-man tandem rotation have meant wins.
Key Player: Catcher Carson Sherman leads the way with .325 average and 49 HRs.
Weakness: Closer Ned Rivera saved just 20 of 34 attempts and threw over 100 innings in 75 appearances
History: One of just a handful of franchises never to miss the playoffs, the the 'Quistas have made just 2 LCS and 1 WS appearances in 8 seasons.

5- Baltimore (99-63) - They're sortof like Richmond-light, with 326 HRs and 231 SBs to go with a staff that allowed the 2nd fewest runs in the AL.
Key Player: A trio of players hit 50+ HRs and drove in over 140 runs but ace hurler Rico Lecuona might be the key to the Homies hopes.
Weakness: Their baserunners have been caught stealing a league-high 142 times.
History: The franchise has missed the playoffs just 3 times in 8 years, but they've made it out of the division series just once, a season 2 trip to the World Series.

2- Salem (103-59) - This team trailed only Colorado in hitting .308 for the season. However, pitching and defense both ranked 8th in the AL. The offense defined balance with 9, count 'em 9 players hitting 20+ HRs.
Key Player: Free agent addition Carl Brooks was brought in to closer the door and he has, 49 of the 55 times he's been asked. Does the 35-year old have enough gas in the tank for the playoffs?
Weakness: Only Memphis had more - plays in the field and only Houston had fewer plus plays in the AL than this defense. They're also one of the worst in the league at throwing out base stealers.
History: Bossmao's boys have never lost the division and have made an AL-high 4 trips to the World Series. They've been there before.

3- Cincinnatti (96-66) - The Great Americans scored fewer runs than any other AL playoff team and only Monterrey slugged for a lower percentage. On the flip side, they finished 4th in the AL in runs allowed and posted a solid 67 quality starts. Seven players stole 20 bags or more.
Key Player: 33-year old Max Molina is the best starter on the staff (13-6 3.10 ERA), but he pitched into the 7th just 4 times on the year and has been battling a tired arm. Will he step up in the playoffs?
Weakness: They lack the offensive firepower of the rest of this bracket and will have to rely on gritty pitching, manufactured runs, and solid bullpen work to succeed.
History: After cincyredlegs took the franchise to its first playoff birth last year, he orchestrated the first division title in franchise history this year. A first playoff series win would be a great achievement.

6- Scranton (97-65) - This team of extremes has the most HR's, fewest SB's, and highest ERA of any team in the AL field. No doubt, the cast of the Office will be in the stands.
Key Player: C.C. Morgan hit .328 as a rookie but his biggest contribution in the playoffs might be made with his arm where he's led the Nittany Lions to the best CS% in the entire AL.
Weakness: The pitching staff has the highest walk rate of any in the AL playoffs and the hitters tied Cincy's for the most strikeouts of the playoffs teams.
History: Scranton set a franchise record for victories but finished just third in their division. This is their second appearance in the playoffs.

Bold Predictions:
Scanton nips Cincy in a series that goes the distance. Monterrey proves scrappy but not enough to take down Baltimore. Powerful Richmond bests a surprising Scranton team to take the pennant.

Season 8 Team Defense rankings

Well, I've been meaning to post this for awhile now. We hear all about the individual accomplishments of hitters and pitchers, but rarely do we recognize the contributions of team defense. A quick, and very unscientific study of team defense follows. Three categories are ranked:

Balls in Play: A rough measure of a team's ability to turn hits (no walks or K's) that don't leave the yard into outs. This is an approximate measure, but roughly in line with the Moneyball theory.

Fielding Percentage: assists plus putouts all divided by total chances (assists + putouts + errors)

DP Rank: A rough approximation of a teams ability to turn a double play given a double play opportunity. It's not really a percentage, but I've reporting it that way.

Below you'll find each team's rank from Season 8 in each category and a weighted average for determining an overall score. These metrics may favor NL teams a bit as the AL doesn't get to face the pitcher who is known to hit tappers on the infield.

Franchise	Owner	BIPA	Fpct	DP%	BIPA rnk	Fct Rnk	DP Rnk	Average
Sioux Falls Dakota	jwendt	0.311	0.988	22.0%	2	3	16	4.45
Las Vegas Double Downs	gtce98	0.318	0.993	22.8%	4	1	14	4.45
Mexico City Bandejos	dyuen	0.324	0.988	27.7%	8	4	1	5.55
Los Angeles Outlaws	PirateFan13	0.318	0.987	23.9%	3	9	8	5.85
Helena Hound Dogs	dberube7	0.320	0.987	23.7%	5	11	9	7.70
Burlington Bulldogs	mike1184	0.311	0.986	21.0%	1	13	20	8.05
Augusta Storm	hartel	0.333	0.990	21.2%	12	2	19	9.55
Cheyenne Seminoles	jrooster35	0.320	0.986	22.9%	6	17	12	10.75
Wichita Shockers	bigking0505	0.339	0.987	24.1%	14	8	7	10.85
Pawtucket Quahog Crush	sriram12078	0.342	0.988	23.3%	16	5	10	11.25
Toledo Boonse Farmers	hockey_brian	0.326	0.985	24.7%	9	18	5	11.55
Monterrey Conquistadors	kmueller	0.347	0.988	25.2%	18	6	3	11.55
San Juan Crownrificos	wang35	0.322	0.986	20.4%	7	14	24	12.00
Cincinnati Great Americans	cincyredlegs	0.329	0.984	26.2%	11	23	2	13.85
Pittsburgh Poon Fingers	goblkngld	0.328	0.986	19.8%	10	15	28	14.45
Nashville Harmonies	drennantom	0.333	0.985	22.9%	13	19	13	15.10
Richmond Confederates	szavsza23	0.344	0.987	20.0%	17	10	25	15.75
Rochester Rockets	ewd330	0.355	0.986	23.3%	19	16	11	16.75
St. Louis Hell Hogs	jets12	0.359	0.987	20.5%	23	7	23	17.40
Scranton Nittany Lions	camaro31st	0.358	0.986	19.9%	21	12	27	18.75
Texas Riders	jying98	0.340	0.983	19.3%	15	24	30	20.40
Houston Heavy Hitters	rudedogg44	0.370	0.984	25.0%	26	20	4	20.60
Salem Grand Salamies	bossmao	0.365	0.984	24.5%	25	22	6	21.10
Vancouver Jets	hcohenmb	0.356	0.981	22.5%	20	27	15	21.70
Honolulu Dolphins	dspahlinger	0.359	0.982	21.2%	22	25	18	22.45
Washington D.C. Honor and Courage	darrenmaybee	0.362	0.982	21.3%	24	26	17	23.65
Kansas City Monarchs	hodgenice	0.373	0.984	20.7%	27	21	22	24.15
Montreal Clouseaus	jackster89	0.388	0.979	19.9%	28	29	26	28.05
Colorado Mountain Oysters	buck18	0.405	0.979	20.8%	30	30	21	28.65
New York Hellraisers	madmuldoon	0.398	0.981	17.1%	29	28	31	28.95
Santa Fe Fire Hawks	reigny	0.416	0.979	19.5%	31	31	29	30.70
Atlanta INFUEGO	sonenlaw	0.433	0.969	10.3%	32	32	32	32.00

Sioux Falls and Las Vegas tied for the best overall ranking. Vegas had the best fielding percentage in the league and was #4 in BIPA. Mexico City comes in third as the best double play turning team in the league. The top 3 teams all won their divisions. The top AL team, Wichita, narrowly missed the wild card, while the next 4 AL teams (Monterrey, Cincinnati, Richmond, and Rochester) all made the playoffs.

Also, the long lost sonenlaw's Atlanta INFUEGO managed to finish dead last in every single category, but a fairly substantial margin.

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Sixto Lezcano Winner: Lazy Berry Profile

The winner of the final preliminary bracket is Monterrey 1B/OF Lazy Berry. Berry, a 'Quista since season 3, has been quite successful as a part-time player, hitting .296 over his career. True to his name, he's too lazy to run, actually going 0-10 lifetime stealing bases, all of them pick-offs.

Lazy Berry Monterrey Conquistadors Age: 29 B/T: R/R Born: Santa Clarita, CA Position(s): 1B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

So what parent in their right mind would name their child, Lazy Berry? Well, it's a complicated story. You see, Lazy's mom Caroline Staw never took her husband, Bobby Boysen's last name. So, when Lazy, their first child came along, there was some disagreement as to how he should be named. Caroline didn't like that he wouldn't share her name and Bobby also wanted his family name carried on. So, the couple compromised and agreed that their son should take what they had in common for a last name. After the protracted argument was settled, there was little time to consider a first name. Seeing as how the boy was conceived at Knott's Berry Farm in California on Bigfoot Rapids, Bobby insisted on calling him Bigfoot. Caroline hated the ride (pun intended) and insists on calling it the lazy river. Hence, Lazy was christened and we have our final finalist.

Voting in the finals will be open for several days. See the poll to your left to choose your favorite.

Incidentally, Lazy has 4 siblings, a sisters Boo and Raz, and a brothers Goose and Pomegranate. All share his last name, Berry.

1st round matchups

Richmond (92-70) vs Cincinnati (94-68, WC) - Richmond makes it's 4th consecutive trip to the playoffs following a division win while Cincy is playing in imaginary October for the 1st time ever. The Confederates really bang the ball, hitting 321 HR's, good for 2nd in the league. The Great Americans made a name on their pitching staff, leading the AL in ERA. They also outscored the 'Feds by 26 runs on the season due to their furious legs, stealing a league-high 309 bases.

Questions to answer: Can jack rabbits Manny Corey, Travis Mota, and crew be held in check by Fed catcher Eric Richardson who napped just over 30% of those attempting to run on him this year?

Can Great Americans starters Grover Little and Max Molina hold the down the Fed bats?
Monterrey (93-69) vs Texas (93-69, WC) - Monterrey won a tie-breaker to gain home field advantage over division rival Texas. The 'Quistas are making their 8th consecutive trip to the post season, still in search of their first world title. They bring a .302 team average and the best defense in the AL to the party. Meanwhile, the Riders are making their post season debut behind a balanced squad that finished above average in most categories.

Questions to answer: Can strong-armed Jaime Anderson slow record-setting running by 'Quista leadoff man Roberto Servet (129 SB)?

Will Monterrey Pitching Coach Rigo Valdez' unortodox e-man rotation excel or fold in the post-season?


Burlington (90-72) vs San Juan (97-65, WC) - Burlington shocked 2nd city powerhouses San Juan and Mexico City in last season's playoffs. They hold the home-field advantage, but San Juan was 7 games better and is out for blood. The Bulldogs hit just .259 as a team and finished 9th in the NL in runs scored while the Crownrificos led the league in runs scored and finished 2nd in HRs. The 'Rificos also have a big advantage in the pen where the Bulldogs converted just 49 or 74 save opportunities.

Questions to answer: Can Burlington repeat last year's exciting run by improving upon their 23-28 record in one-run games?

Is a Crownrifico team made up largely of 30+ year-olds up for a long playoff run?

Sioux Falls (103-59) vs Cheyenne (96-66, WC) - Sioux Falls is the reigning WS champ and they recently added ace pitcher Bartolo Gonzalez to one of the top rotations in the game, but a faltering bullpen caused a late-season skid. Cheyenne makes its 4th career post season trip, but they haven't been past round 1 since Season 1. They're the worst fielding team in the post season, but can score runs in bunches.

Questions to answer: Will Cheyenne be able to hit top starters Bartolo Gonzalez and Paul Rhodes, whom they might face in 4 of the 5 games?

Can a struggling Sioux Falls bullpen close out playoff games after blowing 24 save opportunities?

Optomitrist fires back!

Sioux Falls Dakota team optometrist Dr. Johan van Gooschveticals has finally issued a statement in response to what he calls the frivolous claims of chicanery by the Monterrey Conquistadors organization against the Dakota.

Former Dakota 1B, and Season 5 MVP runner up (.321-39-142 in Season 5) Chance Moriarty was dealt to the 'Quistas recently. He has struggled mightily all season, posting a .253 average with just 12 HRs since arriving south of the border.

Gooschveticals has been widely criticized for failing to proper diagnose and treat Moriarty's eye condition, apparently brought on by excessive poker playing in Sioux Falls Indian Casinos. "I was none too happy to see Moriarty go. Optometry doesn't pay what it used to and having a patsy like that playing in cash games twice a week really helped my bottom line. But I gave him state-of-the-art eye care." Gooschveticals has twice been named South Dakota optometrist of the year, beating out both other contenders. "I even gave Chance special glasses to wear, but he refuses to play in them." The glasses, pictured above, provide adaptive lenses, easily adjusted by turning one of forty seven knobs depending on the pitch type expected.

Dakota team owner jwendt has identified another possible cause. "Chance is a great guy, but he's prone to certain things. All those cheap tacos and tequilla ... - let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if Chance has put on a few pounds and maybe spends some late nights with the senioritas. Hey - nothing against that, but seriously, would you wear a mustache like that if you weren't trying to star in a Mexican porn flick?"

Chance Moriarty Monterrey Conquistadors Age: 28 B/T: L/L Born: Hydro, OK Position(s): 1B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Undisclosed Batting Eye Injury puts Sioux Falls, Moriarity at Odds

Rumors have swirled for weeks concerning the health of Monterrey Conquistador 1B/DH, Chance Moriarity - mostly due to his paltry performace at the plate after Sioux Falls traded him to Monterrey. Rumor became fact on Tuesday as Moriarity finally came clean about Sioux Falls not disclosing his injury before the trade.

"It's true," stated Moriarity, "I have a gambling problem." Apprently, Moriarity was afflicted with, what is described as, a lingering eye strain injury caused by spending all his free time seeing flops at the Native American Casinos around Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls manager "The J" refused to comment, further indicating foul play was indeed intended with the injury management "error". One Dakota player refusing to give his name, stated: " Coach said: 'We've won one championship... to have staying power we need to model ourselves after other consistent winners, like the Patriots.' "

Monterrey Assistant General Manager for Personnel, Vasco de Gama, would not speak at length, but said: "If they want to act like the Patriots, treat them as such - take away a draft pick. We lost pitcher Dave Clark last year to playing too much Wii tennis, but you didn't see us hide the injury."

The rumors began several weeks ago and leading them were Moriarity's WELL below average statistics in Season 8, particularly after his trade from Sioux Falls to Monterrey. The 'Quistas relatively small park is well known for being hitter friendly, unlike the Dakota's pitching friendly park. Most press assumed Moriarity was in for an excellent second half to his season as a result. Moriarity averaged .290 at the plate and an OPS of .870 before coming into season 8. Since the trade with Monterrey, Chance's Average dropped to a putrid .247 with an OPS of .782

The Commish (also "The J") had a statement prepared (he had it ready the second this story came to light): "We have looked into the Moriarity trade scenario. Given the situation in Atlanta right now (near fan riot), we cannot take any action."

Season Preview Part Five – AL South

Two storied AL franchises in Houston and Monterrey are heavily favored to continue their winning ways in the best hitting division in the AL. Texas and more recently Sante Fe have been concentrating on youth and promise to make strides this year. Still, the youth of Sante Fe and the shoddy defense of Texas will keep them outside the hunt again this season.

Houston Heavy Hitters
History – The franchise has missed the playoffs just once, in season 2 which prompted rudedog to buy the team from pokesfan and move it from Arlington to Houston. A World Series trip in season 4 raised expectations, but 3 straight early exits have fans wanting more.

There aren’t many simpler names in the league, and they live up to it. Every player on the big league roster is over 180 lbs. and almost half the roster is 200 lbs. Have I mentioned that they hit?

Strengths – Banjo White won ROY honors in Season 3, made the All-Star team in Season 4, and has won three straight MVPs since with remarkably consistent performances (.316-72-181, .311-70-184, .308-74-187). At just 6’0 tall and 227 lbs, he’s the heaviest of hitters.

Weaknesses – Defense has never been their calling card, but 2-time gold-glover Pablo Guerrero was brought in to play SS. Manny Neugebaeur leads the staff. He was signed as a minor-league free agent to a $43.5M contract (5 years) prior to season 4, but he’s never topped 165 IP or 10 wins in a season. The rest of the rotation is a collection of aging starters and solid if underwhelming younger pitchers.

Odds - 7:2 to win the division, 12:1 to win the pennant – They’ll score and the defense should be solid, but will this pitching staff be able to contribute more than fireworks?

Monterrey Conquistadors
History – Monterrey is an original franchise that has never missed the playoffs. Four division titles, three wild cards, and zero seasons with fewer than 92 wins make them one of the premier franchises in Second City. A season 6 trip to the World Series remains the team’s top achievement.

The ‘Quistas are named for Spanish explorer, Hernando Cortez, who is most famous for conquering the Aztecs. The key blow in that battle was Cortez and his army killing Aztec emperor Montezuma. Many visitors to Monterrey still experience Montezuma’s revenge.

Strengths – ‘Quista pitching coach Rigo Valdez is the league’s firmest believer in the controversial 3-man tandem rotation. The tactic gets top pitchers like Lee Rivera 40-50 appearances per year as opposed to the 32-34 a 5-man starter gets. His innings per game are limited, so the IP totals of 225 or so are in-line with the rest of the league. The staff is deep with no 1 standout. Carson Sherman is the top hitter on a club excellent at reaching base, while Roberto Servet’s 87 steals led the jackrabbits on the bases.

Weaknesses – There aren’t a ton of bombers in the lineup so the team must generate runs with multiple hits and moving guys along. The defense, just like the rest of the team is deep, with quality everywhere but few standouts.

Odds - 3:2 to win division, 7:1 to win the pennant. No franchise is more about the team with the tandem rotation, a division-winning club that didn’t have an All-Star, and a lineup that’s as dangerous at 8-9 as it is at 1-2. The only question is whether such a squad can compete in the playoffs.

Sante Fe Fire Hawks
History –After a false start in Charlotte, imaginary internet mogul texas_ron took over the franchise in season 2. Ron proceeded to pour money into the franchise, drastically increasing payroll from $105 million in season 1 to as much as $151 million in season 4. The results were just as distressing, with the El Paso Longhorns posting a worse record than the previous season in each the next 4 years. Tjconnatser attempted to resurrect the franchise gone wrong with a move to Tampa Bay, where officials promised a new stadium that didn’t suck. When that fell through, HBD turnaround artist reigny took over, moving the squad to Sante Fe and drastically cutting payroll, back to $82 million this season. A farm system corrupted by foolish spending habits of an internet mogul is slowly on its way to recovery.

The Fire Hawks are named for a chapter of Space Marines in the fictional Warhammer 40,000 universe. The Fire Hawks chapter is also known the Legion of the Dammed. Reigny made his fortune looting spacecraft with his marines.

Strengths – The staff will throw strikes with veterans Steven Serra (39, former All Star), Jim Johnson (37, former All Star), and Bruce Maloney (38, 2-time All Star) present to lead a staff full of young arms

Weaknesses – Two 19-years olds, Chris Boswell and Courtney Rhodes, both drafted last year, join season 6 first round pick, Nolan Smith on the big league roster. A total of 10 big leaguers are under the age of 25. That’s not a good thing. This squad has talent, but little of it is truly ready for the big leagues. Texas_ron’s mismanagement continues to hamper this squad.

Odds - 500:1 to win the division, 100,000:1 to win the pennant – The pitching and hitting is either too old or too young. There’s young talent here, but it shouldn’t be in Sante Fe yet.

Texas Riders
History – Single, unsuccessful seasons in Atlanta and Tampa led the franchise to Arlington, TX. Following an 82-80 finish, sean365 sold the team to local beer merchant, jying98. jying founded a successful liquor store in Arlington that made its mark providing kegs for frat parties on the UT campus. He immediately set out doing to the Riders what he did to Austin, pouring money (or beer) into the youth. The results are starting to show as the minor league system has quietly become one of the league’s best, and the major league team continues to make strides.

Despite the common misconception that the team is named for the cowboys of old that would later become known as the Rangers, the Texas franchise is actually named in honor of former college slam-dunk champion, JR Rider of UNLV. Rider briefly met jying at Allen County Community College in Iola, KS, where Rider gave him the idea to sell beer to undergrads.

Strengths – RF Kevlim Roa with 329 career homers and 199 career stolen bases remains one of the top dual-threats in the league 1b Tim Aven, LF Jacob Serrano, and 22-year old C Robinson Frazier all have the ability to hit 40 HRs, so the long ball will be there. AAA 1B Antonio Chapman, a season 6 1^st round pick, is pounding on the door and will join the HR fest soon. Watch out for starter Vernon Mota, the 24-year old is a capable of much better than the 12-15, 6.07 performance of last season indicates.

Weaknesses – This is one of the worst defensive teams in the league, with no player sporting a range greater than 73 and only one with a glove over 72. The rotation relies on two pitchers, Greg Glover and Charles Lilly that could walk 100+ batters this year.

Odds - 20:1 to win the division, 60:1 to win the pennant – The hitters already here and those in the high minors will make the offense as good as any team’s. However, the small park, wild pitching, and swiss-cheese defense mean plenty more football scores to come.