'Rificos fall prey to Vegas distractions

The San Juan Crownrifico coaching staff isn't real big on discipline. Manager Javier James is best known as a fielding instructor has largely let the Crownrifico veterans set the tone in the clubhouse. Over the weekend in Las Vegas, they set the tone elsewhere. Lenny Ohman, in his 11th season with San Juan, is one of the clubhouse leaders. He's also quite fond of strip clubs.

Prior to the first game of the series in Las Vegas, Ohman and a group of about a dozen Crownrificos participated in what is being called the first ever "Vegas Cat Crawl." It's an initiation for new 'Rificos that calls for anyone new to the team to complete a Las Vegas Strip Club "road rally" where each club holds a stripper that will only give your next clue after you've paid for and received a lap dance. At that point, she gives you a clue to help you find the next club and the next clue. Each rookie leads a team of veterans on the race. The winning team receives a traveling trophy which bears the likeness of Crownrifico Traveling Secretary, Blaze Starr. The final destination this year (and probably every year) will be the Spearmint Rhino. As this year's winning team arrived led by rookie pitcher Dennis Wan, they found team owner wang35 waiting in a private room.


(Fremont street - they're hard to find but the entire Crownrifico rotation is in the shot)

It all seemed like a great idea at the time, but the team led by another Crownrifico rookie ran into some trouble at OG's, the 2nd to last stop. It seems veteran C Rico Lopez ran into an ex-girlfriend turned dancer. The two exchanged words, several bounces and one of the ex-girfriend's clients became physical. While no formal charges were filed, several Crownrificos spent part of the night bruised and in central lockup. They were released 2 hours prior to game-time, but needless to say, they were in no shape to play.




The raucous weekend continued in Vegas but the Crownrifico bats did not. The were swept by the scores of 3-0, 2-0, 5-0, and 6-1 and collected only 17 hits in the 4 games. The lone run scored on a homer by 3B Brandon Crawford who did not participate in the rookie event to a restraining order barring him from coming within 500 feet of a gentleman's club. Crawford has special permission allowing him to access the visitor's clubhouse at Cashman Field on game days only, despite the entrance to a VERY BAD (seen to the right) club just 2 doors away.

Crownrifico owner questions physical fitness of fellow owner

San Juan Crownrifico owner wang35, already reeling from a 1st round playoff defeat at the hands of Burlington and mired in a battle with his fans over a "white-flag" trade, fired a shot across the bow of four of Second City's most successful owners. Wang referred szavsza, bossmao, dyuen, and jwendt as "heavyweights". When WCM corespondents pressed for details, Wang was heard muttering, "Have you seen these guys? The Crownrificos would be making money hand over fist if I could just get them to the hot-dog stands twice a year."

Angered by the quote, the teams PR staffs agreed to release this photo from the last Second City owners meeting. The owners in question are shown here in the workout gear, clearly making an effort to get in shape. The Crownrifico PR department is still hungover and failed to repsond to requests for further comment.

Home Sweet ... WTF?

Home field advantage isn't in the NL. In both first round series, the wild card teams went on the road and took 2 games from the division champs. Both Nashville and San Juan returned home needing to win just once to close out Sioux Falls and Burlington respectively. Neither did. That makes the home teams 0-8 in the first round of the NL this year.

Game 5 takes place this cycle with Rosario Rosado starting for Nashville in Sioux Falls against Sean Moore.

Rafael Rosado Nashville Harmonies Age: 25 B/T: R/R Born: Colon, PA Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Sean Moore Sioux Falls Dakota Age: 28 B/T: R/R Born: Ennis, MT Position(s): P (SP2) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

In San Juan, Burlington will send ace Pedro DeRojas against Crownrifico ace Ronn Thomas.

Pedro DeRojas Burlington Bulldogs Age: 24 B/T: S/L Born: Chinandega, NI Position(s): P (SP5) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Ronn Thomas San Juan Crownrificos Age: 29 B/T: S/R Born: Tustin, CA Position(s): P (SP1) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Crownrifico fans protest White Flag Deal

Hiram Bothorn Stadium in the 1st inning(left)

Same stadium in the top of the 3rd (right)






The San Juan Crownrificos fan club has declared a white out. They plan to show up in all white for their next game, stay through the 1st inning and then leave en masse. The vitriol of this response comes as a shockto 'rifico owner wang35.

San Juan dealt staff ace Phil Martin, a 4-time All-star, 20-game winner last season all while just 2 games out of the division lead and with a clear lead in the wild card race. As outrageous as this action sounds, the fans might have lived with it. After all, the 'rificos got back two major league ready players with high upsides in Pedro Zurbaran and Dennis Wan. But, to move a player of Phil Martin's caliber to chief rival, three-time world series champ, Mexico City, who sat just behind the 'rificos is inexcusable to the fandom.

"BENEDICT ARNOLD!", proclaimed the sign from one fan who pledged never to return to Hiram Birthorn Stadium as long as wang35 controlled the team. wang stuck to his guns. "Listen, we've had injury problems and there was no way we were going to win with Phil. I'd rather get two top players that risk losing him in free agency and get draft picks or worse back for him. " Still, fans could think only of the fabeled White Flag trade made by the Chicago White Sox. Nobody remembers that Keith Foulke turned into a great closer (that Mike Caruso smoked WAY too much weed), or the Wilson Alvarez never really did much after that season. They only remember an owner giving up on a team that had a chance. Chances don't come around all that often and these fans will not soon forget.

Crownrificos sued by former players

Recently retired San Juan Crownrificos have filed a class-action lawsuit against the club alleging racial discrimination. Henry Freel and Troy Bollea allege that San Juan team owner wang35 has infringed upon their rights by not allowing the players to take personal time to celebrate Bastille Day. Bollea (rhymes with courvosieur) and Henry (rhymes with enuui) Freel are both American citizens.

However, Freel hails from Louisiana and comes from a long line of French Creole ancestors. He claims his great-great-great-great uncle Pierre actually notorized the Louisiana purchase. A plaque in his sister's currency exchange commemorates the occasion but locals are skeptical. "That boy ain't been right since he wrestled an alligator in the 5th grade." Local lore has it that Freel was given a standing eight-count, but won on points.

Bollea attended high school in NY state. He changed his name 11 years ago when a local reporter revealed that he was actually the child of his siblings' nanny, French aupaire Monique Bollea. The family had long concealled the secret but all was revealed the stunning season finale of The Jerry Springer Show.

Windy City Musings legal expert Roger Coussack doubts that the players have a case, but fellow recent retirees, Dennis Shibata, Sterling Dupler, and Frank Fujiwara are rumored to be considering joining the case for their own ignored ethnic holidays (Peal Harbor Day, Arbor Day, and National Talk Like a Pirate Day respectively).