Hoffman's Injury Leads to Better Insurance for 'Rificos

Billy Hoffman San Juan Crownrificos Age: 29 B/T: L/L Born: Fort Worth, TX Position(s): P (P) View Hardball Dynasty Profile

San Juan owner wang35 remains distraught over the career and life-threatening condition of ace hurler Billy Hoffman. Hoffman, who was rushed to the Auxilio Mutuo Hospital in San Juan after experiencing numbness in his arm during a game in Pawtuckett. Hoffman probably should have been hospitalized in Pawtuckett, but he was denied service when bullpen coach Enrique Matos spoke in animated Spanish when a nurse asked for Hoffman's insurance information. Crownrifico insiders continue to whisper that the bargain-basement plan paid for by the team owner may have put Hoffman at risk since the Pawtuckett medical system is "out-of-network."

Team owner wang35 has been terribly distraught ever since the incident. Wang first learned of the injury when reached on a beach vacation. Upon learning that Hoffman, the 1st round pick of the Chicago Hog Butchers in season 2, faced a life-threatening condition, Wang lost all love for his vacation, completely falling apart. He immediately tanked the "bags" game he was in and wasn't the same for the rest of the weekend. Even a less-than-successful run at the Pai Gow table was not enough to right the dizzied Wang.

He has since set up a charitable organization to treat circulatory disorders in Puerto Rico. He's also allowed Hoffman to use his private jet to see the best experts in the field. Surgery was performed by the same doctors that treated David Cone in New York when he suffered a similar injury. Cone returned from the injury in 1997 and would make the all-star team in 2 of the next 3 years, finishing 4th in the Cy Young voting in 1998.

Hoffman debuted in the bigs in Season 5 and has a career record of 86-62 with 4.00 ERA. He's never made the all-star team in the big leagues

'Rificos fall prey to Vegas distractions

The San Juan Crownrifico coaching staff isn't real big on discipline. Manager Javier James is best known as a fielding instructor has largely let the Crownrifico veterans set the tone in the clubhouse. Over the weekend in Las Vegas, they set the tone elsewhere. Lenny Ohman, in his 11th season with San Juan, is one of the clubhouse leaders. He's also quite fond of strip clubs.

Prior to the first game of the series in Las Vegas, Ohman and a group of about a dozen Crownrificos participated in what is being called the first ever "Vegas Cat Crawl." It's an initiation for new 'Rificos that calls for anyone new to the team to complete a Las Vegas Strip Club "road rally" where each club holds a stripper that will only give your next clue after you've paid for and received a lap dance. At that point, she gives you a clue to help you find the next club and the next clue. Each rookie leads a team of veterans on the race. The winning team receives a traveling trophy which bears the likeness of Crownrifico Traveling Secretary, Blaze Starr. The final destination this year (and probably every year) will be the Spearmint Rhino. As this year's winning team arrived led by rookie pitcher Dennis Wan, they found team owner wang35 waiting in a private room.


(Fremont street - they're hard to find but the entire Crownrifico rotation is in the shot)

It all seemed like a great idea at the time, but the team led by another Crownrifico rookie ran into some trouble at OG's, the 2nd to last stop. It seems veteran C Rico Lopez ran into an ex-girlfriend turned dancer. The two exchanged words, several bounces and one of the ex-girfriend's clients became physical. While no formal charges were filed, several Crownrificos spent part of the night bruised and in central lockup. They were released 2 hours prior to game-time, but needless to say, they were in no shape to play.




The raucous weekend continued in Vegas but the Crownrifico bats did not. The were swept by the scores of 3-0, 2-0, 5-0, and 6-1 and collected only 17 hits in the 4 games. The lone run scored on a homer by 3B Brandon Crawford who did not participate in the rookie event to a restraining order barring him from coming within 500 feet of a gentleman's club. Crawford has special permission allowing him to access the visitor's clubhouse at Cashman Field on game days only, despite the entrance to a VERY BAD (seen to the right) club just 2 doors away.

Crownrifico owner questions physical fitness of fellow owner

San Juan Crownrifico owner wang35, already reeling from a 1st round playoff defeat at the hands of Burlington and mired in a battle with his fans over a "white-flag" trade, fired a shot across the bow of four of Second City's most successful owners. Wang referred szavsza, bossmao, dyuen, and jwendt as "heavyweights". When WCM corespondents pressed for details, Wang was heard muttering, "Have you seen these guys? The Crownrificos would be making money hand over fist if I could just get them to the hot-dog stands twice a year."

Angered by the quote, the teams PR staffs agreed to release this photo from the last Second City owners meeting. The owners in question are shown here in the workout gear, clearly making an effort to get in shape. The Crownrifico PR department is still hungover and failed to repsond to requests for further comment.

Mid-Season Outlook

As we approach the All-Star break we take a look at the scene and identify the current playoff contenders.

If the season ended today, the playoffs would look like this:
NL
#1 Mexico City Bandejos 57-29
#2 Las Vegas Double Downs 56-30
#3 Sioux Falls Dakota 56-30 (lose tie breaker)
#4 Burlington Bulldogs 48-38
#5 Cheyenne Seminoles 53-33
#6 Nashville Harmonies 51-35

Outside looking in: San Juan (49-37), Helena (45-41), Toledo (43-43), Pawtuckett (42-44), Los Angeles (42-44)

The lead story here is the very real possibility that the San Juan Crownrificos could miss the playoffs. The 'Rifs have failed to win the division only once (last year) when they took the top wild-card spot. They've never won fewer than 107 games but are currently on pace to finish 92-70. Team owner and noted Lou Holtz imitator wang35 has already sounded the alarm declaring San Juan's glory days over and actively looking to shake the aging empire up with a big trade.

The other story is the emergence of new contenders. Cheyenne has flirted with the NL West lead all season Helena, Toledo, and Los Angeles all making noise about a playoff run. The 3-way fight for the #1 seed promises to keep even the top teams pushing hard all season and nobody is underestimating Burlington after their stunning elimination of both Evil Empires, San Juan and Mexico City last season.

AL
#1 Salem Grand Salamies 57-29
#2 Monterrey Conquistadors 56-30
#3 Richmond Confederates 55-31
#4 Cincinnati Great Americans 53-33
#5 Rochester Rockets 52-34
#6 Texas Riders 49-37

Outside looking in: Wichita (45-41), Houston (45-41), Colorado (43-43), and Scranton (39-47)

The top story here might be a Houston franchise that's missed the playoffs only once, in season 2. The Heavy Hitters are in a big fight for the wildcard as usual suspects, Monterrey, Salem, Richmond and Rochester continue their impressive runs.

BUT, the Cincinnati Great Americans, under new owner cincredlegs have shocked the Second City world with a 53-33 start that has them poised to make the franchise's first-ever playoff appearance. Nobody plays better on the road where the GA's have gone 30-13 so far.

The AL race is as exciting as ever with 5 teams bunched within 5 games of the #1 seed and 4 others within 6 for the final wild card spot. Pennant-race dealing, rookie call-ups, and injuries figure to play a key roll in a league that appears up-for-grabs as we approach mid-season.