NKOtB (kindof): Oklahoma City Fire Hawks

What happened? Five years of the Fire Hawks in Sante Fe have yet to produce a team that's lost fewer than 102 games. With attendance declining each year, team owner reigny sought lease concessions and a stadium upgrade from the city. When Sante Fe Mayor David Cross laughed reigny out of city hall, he appealed to a higher authority, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson met with reigny, the result was similarly comical. Richardson, a huge Arizona Isotopes of Albuquerque fan it seems, was unaware that there was a franchise in Sante Fe. He was floored that there was a 2nd franchise in the state and immediately refused reigny. When later informed that the Isotopes had left the state years ago, Richardson was heartbroken. He's now formally stated an interest in bringing another franchise back to New Mexico. Also, he'd like to not be elected president again.

Upon returning to the team offices, reigny was notified that the city had formally filed papers to alter the team's lease as was allowed under the contract. Apparently, the falling attendance had also led to a decrease in the number of part-time workers at the stadium. When the number dropped below a lease covenant with the city, Sante Fe was able to unilaterally force the team to triple it's rent payment.

reigny quickly canceled the team's lease and looked for other accommodations.


The Fallout: Oklahoma City, still stinging from the one-and-done season the Salt Lake City Salty Sardines had in season 10, hastily offered a new lease. The Fire Hawks decided to keep the team name intact as vast stores of Fire Hawk merchandise remain unsold. But at least the state of Oklahoma now has a "major league" franchise.

Gomes tabbed with #1 pick

Sante Fe used the top overall pick on 20-year old left hander Nick Gomes. Gomes, a bit short at 5'10, is reported to have "filthy" stuff. Gomes fastball has been clocked as high as 94 mph. He also throws a slider that makes left-handed batters cry.

So where does Gomes come from? He hails from Bridgeport, CT. PT Barnum was once the mayor of Bridgeport and Gomes is a fan. In fact, he had to head out west after his own 3-ring circus, established at famous Mount Trashmore, nearly interupted the filming of "Confessions of a Shopaholic", scheduled for release later this year. Allegedly, three dwarf elephants escaped from the circus and stampeded through town, almost trampling Joan Cusak before John Goodman invited them for dinner and the filming was saved.

Civic outrage and a since-dismissed lawsuit prompted Gomes to leave Bridgeport for the warmer climate and co-eds of Bergen Community College.

Sante Fe is On the Clock

Reigny and the Sante Fe Firehawks are on the clock. This will mark the 4th consecutive season that Sante Fe has picked in the Top 5, so reigny is used to it. The major league team continues to try to recover from the long period of mismangament by texas_ron while the team was in El Paso. So how has Reigny done with all the high picks?


Season 7 - Chris Boswell P (#1 overall): Boswell wasn't given much time to develop after being chosen first overall in the Season 7 draft. The HS lefty spent just 1 season at Low A before debuting in the bigs and posting a 7.47 ERA out of the pen. He was dealt to what's now the Ottawa franchise very early in Season 8. He's career mark stands at 30-35 with a 6.40 ERA. Scouts feel that Boswell was rushed and has never really reached his potential. He's still just 22, but makes $6.875M.

Season 8 - Clay Burnett P (#2 overall): Despite spending the full 4 years at Georgia Tech, Boswell was allowed to develop at a more moderate pace, making 33 minor league starts (11-14, 4.48) before debuting in Sante Fe early in Season 9. He struggled mightily as a rookie (1-6, 10.35 ERA), but found some success in season 10 making 19 starts and 50 appearances (8-11, 7.21). The Goldendale, WA native seems to have found his sea legs at 25, making 12 solid starts so far this year while posting a 6-4 record and 3.81 ERA.

Season 9 - Pascual Guzman P (#3 overall): Guzman came to Sante Fe from Palinville HS in Kansas. The tall (6'6) lefty jumped from rookie league to AA last year and posted a respectable 11-4 mark and 4.97 ERA. He's at AAA this season where his record stands at 2-2 with a 6.04 ERA. Guzman is just 20 years old and the Player development folks are urging caution with his development. He's already hit the DL twice with elbow and shoulder injuries, but scouts still see him as a potential workhouse, capable of 220+ innings of excellent work if he's allowed to develop and stays healthy.

Season 10 - Mark Wan P (#5 overall): The charismatic Wan signed a $7M contract out of Ambassador Christian HS in Fontana, CA. For that kind of money the team was not willing to baby him, sending Wan to AA where he went 3-3 in 12 starts with a 3.38 ERA. That was enough to bump him to AAA this year, where the 19-year old is the youngest in the league. He's been knocked around by the older hitters to the tune of an 8.76 ERA and 1-6 record. Wan's sinker and change are both considered potential out pitches but he's ball has so much movement that he struggles to command the strike zone (90 BB in 134 IP). Fire Hawk management is also worried about Wan's card playing habits where he's become a regular at the Buffalo Thunder Casino, the only American casino offering Wan's World, known as poker's answer to Balderdash, the fabulous bluffing game.

Season 11 - Who knows what this year's draft brings. Sante Fe has shown a proclivity for pitching, selecting starters in each of the last four drafts, including 3 HS hurlers. Whoever it is better be ready to contribute as he's not likely to spend long in the low minors. Several pitchers are considered to be among the draft's top prospects and Sante Fe has one of the top amateur scouting departments in the league.

Other top draft stories include Fresno's 3 picks in the top 33, Scranton's 4 in the top 42, including 3 straight selections (40, 41, and 42), and Mexico City who will choose at 30, 32, and 39. Those 3 franchises will combine for 10 picks before Baltimore makes its first choice at #48 or Ottawa awakens at pick 66. Finally Kansas City got to keep it's #15 pick which is protected, but lost it's 2nd, 3rd, and 4th round picks as compensation for signing 3 Type A free agents.

Smith wants no special treatment

Sante Fe CF, Nolan Smith currently leads the league with 12 errors. While some bemoan Smith's continued place in CF, others blame what they call a disability.

Hardball Dynasty's

Nolan Smith

"Listen, I'm not disabled. I was born this way. It's in my genes, but it's not a disability." Smith changed his name when he was young to avoid attention. You see, he's the son of famous Rebel Admiral Ackbar.



As you can, see, Smith's "hands" are really better suited to swimming. His HS swimming coach was deeply saddened when Smith left the team to pursue baseball, feeling he had real Olympic potential given his flipper-like hands. But baseball was Smith's first love. Smith, a former 1st round draft pick, began his career in RF. But Cf was the place that had an opening, so the Mon Calmarian went there. Despite making an unconscionable 41 errors for the Fire Hawks last season, he's back in CF again. He's got such a cult following that he's launched a breakfast cereal (click for commercial).

Part of Smith's problem might be equipment. He's been using a standard glove but he has trouble getting his exceptionally large hands into appropriate fingers. Wilson has offered to custom-make a Calmarian friendly glove but Smith refuses special treatment. Meanwhile, he proudly runs into CF every game. But don't call for a suicide squeeze while he's on 3rd - you're more likely to hear, "It'a a trap!" than see him running toward home before the batter swings. He knows what it's like to attempt to attack the Death Star before the Ewoks get the Shield Generator down.

STOP THROWING HIM STRIKES

Apparently AL pitchers haven't gotten the news yet but Antonio Chapman hits the ball a long ways. Stop pitching to him already.

Chapman, a 23 year-old first baseman for the Texas Riders hit 67 and 69 HRs in his first two seasons, has twice been an All-Star, won the Rookie of the Year and Home Run Derby in Season 9, and he plays in one of the most HR-friendly parks in the league.

Well, season 11 is no different. In 8 games, Chapman has hit 10 Hr's including a 3-game stretch in Santa Fe (where you weigh less than you would on the moon apparently) where he his 7 HR's. That's right, 3 games, 7 HR's. For that series he was 12-15 (.800) with 3 doubles, 8 runs scored, 2 walks, and 13 RBI. For Pete's sake reigny, bean the dude already!

Antonio Chapman Texas Riders Age: 23 B/T: L/L Born: Anaheim, CA Position(s): 1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Chapman is not related to former Chicago Rush offensive specialist Antonio Chatman who has also played in the NFL with Cincinnati and Green Bay. They are however facebook friends.

Season Preview Part Five – AL South

Two storied AL franchises in Houston and Monterrey are heavily favored to continue their winning ways in the best hitting division in the AL. Texas and more recently Sante Fe have been concentrating on youth and promise to make strides this year. Still, the youth of Sante Fe and the shoddy defense of Texas will keep them outside the hunt again this season.

Houston Heavy Hitters
History – The franchise has missed the playoffs just once, in season 2 which prompted rudedog to buy the team from pokesfan and move it from Arlington to Houston. A World Series trip in season 4 raised expectations, but 3 straight early exits have fans wanting more.

There aren’t many simpler names in the league, and they live up to it. Every player on the big league roster is over 180 lbs. and almost half the roster is 200 lbs. Have I mentioned that they hit?

Strengths – Banjo White won ROY honors in Season 3, made the All-Star team in Season 4, and has won three straight MVPs since with remarkably consistent performances (.316-72-181, .311-70-184, .308-74-187). At just 6’0 tall and 227 lbs, he’s the heaviest of hitters.

Weaknesses – Defense has never been their calling card, but 2-time gold-glover Pablo Guerrero was brought in to play SS. Manny Neugebaeur leads the staff. He was signed as a minor-league free agent to a $43.5M contract (5 years) prior to season 4, but he’s never topped 165 IP or 10 wins in a season. The rest of the rotation is a collection of aging starters and solid if underwhelming younger pitchers.

Odds - 7:2 to win the division, 12:1 to win the pennant – They’ll score and the defense should be solid, but will this pitching staff be able to contribute more than fireworks?

Monterrey Conquistadors
History – Monterrey is an original franchise that has never missed the playoffs. Four division titles, three wild cards, and zero seasons with fewer than 92 wins make them one of the premier franchises in Second City. A season 6 trip to the World Series remains the team’s top achievement.

The ‘Quistas are named for Spanish explorer, Hernando Cortez, who is most famous for conquering the Aztecs. The key blow in that battle was Cortez and his army killing Aztec emperor Montezuma. Many visitors to Monterrey still experience Montezuma’s revenge.

Strengths – ‘Quista pitching coach Rigo Valdez is the league’s firmest believer in the controversial 3-man tandem rotation. The tactic gets top pitchers like Lee Rivera 40-50 appearances per year as opposed to the 32-34 a 5-man starter gets. His innings per game are limited, so the IP totals of 225 or so are in-line with the rest of the league. The staff is deep with no 1 standout. Carson Sherman is the top hitter on a club excellent at reaching base, while Roberto Servet’s 87 steals led the jackrabbits on the bases.

Weaknesses – There aren’t a ton of bombers in the lineup so the team must generate runs with multiple hits and moving guys along. The defense, just like the rest of the team is deep, with quality everywhere but few standouts.

Odds - 3:2 to win division, 7:1 to win the pennant. No franchise is more about the team with the tandem rotation, a division-winning club that didn’t have an All-Star, and a lineup that’s as dangerous at 8-9 as it is at 1-2. The only question is whether such a squad can compete in the playoffs.

Sante Fe Fire Hawks
History –After a false start in Charlotte, imaginary internet mogul texas_ron took over the franchise in season 2. Ron proceeded to pour money into the franchise, drastically increasing payroll from $105 million in season 1 to as much as $151 million in season 4. The results were just as distressing, with the El Paso Longhorns posting a worse record than the previous season in each the next 4 years. Tjconnatser attempted to resurrect the franchise gone wrong with a move to Tampa Bay, where officials promised a new stadium that didn’t suck. When that fell through, HBD turnaround artist reigny took over, moving the squad to Sante Fe and drastically cutting payroll, back to $82 million this season. A farm system corrupted by foolish spending habits of an internet mogul is slowly on its way to recovery.

The Fire Hawks are named for a chapter of Space Marines in the fictional Warhammer 40,000 universe. The Fire Hawks chapter is also known the Legion of the Dammed. Reigny made his fortune looting spacecraft with his marines.

Strengths – The staff will throw strikes with veterans Steven Serra (39, former All Star), Jim Johnson (37, former All Star), and Bruce Maloney (38, 2-time All Star) present to lead a staff full of young arms

Weaknesses – Two 19-years olds, Chris Boswell and Courtney Rhodes, both drafted last year, join season 6 first round pick, Nolan Smith on the big league roster. A total of 10 big leaguers are under the age of 25. That’s not a good thing. This squad has talent, but little of it is truly ready for the big leagues. Texas_ron’s mismanagement continues to hamper this squad.

Odds - 500:1 to win the division, 100,000:1 to win the pennant – The pitching and hitting is either too old or too young. There’s young talent here, but it shouldn’t be in Sante Fe yet.

Texas Riders
History – Single, unsuccessful seasons in Atlanta and Tampa led the franchise to Arlington, TX. Following an 82-80 finish, sean365 sold the team to local beer merchant, jying98. jying founded a successful liquor store in Arlington that made its mark providing kegs for frat parties on the UT campus. He immediately set out doing to the Riders what he did to Austin, pouring money (or beer) into the youth. The results are starting to show as the minor league system has quietly become one of the league’s best, and the major league team continues to make strides.

Despite the common misconception that the team is named for the cowboys of old that would later become known as the Rangers, the Texas franchise is actually named in honor of former college slam-dunk champion, JR Rider of UNLV. Rider briefly met jying at Allen County Community College in Iola, KS, where Rider gave him the idea to sell beer to undergrads.

Strengths – RF Kevlim Roa with 329 career homers and 199 career stolen bases remains one of the top dual-threats in the league 1b Tim Aven, LF Jacob Serrano, and 22-year old C Robinson Frazier all have the ability to hit 40 HRs, so the long ball will be there. AAA 1B Antonio Chapman, a season 6 1^st round pick, is pounding on the door and will join the HR fest soon. Watch out for starter Vernon Mota, the 24-year old is a capable of much better than the 12-15, 6.07 performance of last season indicates.

Weaknesses – This is one of the worst defensive teams in the league, with no player sporting a range greater than 73 and only one with a glove over 72. The rotation relies on two pitchers, Greg Glover and Charles Lilly that could walk 100+ batters this year.

Odds - 20:1 to win the division, 60:1 to win the pennant – The hitters already here and those in the high minors will make the offense as good as any team’s. However, the small park, wild pitching, and swiss-cheese defense mean plenty more football scores to come.