The Dandy Dozen: Antonio Chapman

Today's HOF post is written by new WCM correspondent, THE SPIN DOCTOR

Antonio Chapman Texas Riders Age: 25 B/T: L/L Born: Anaheim, CA Position(s): 1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Background:
The next Hall of Fame candidate up for discussion is an interesting and admittedly premature one. Antonio Chapman of the Texas Riders has put up such monster numbers in his five years of service that he has opened the eyes of voters. Chapman is a 6’2” left handed first baseman. Any comparisons to Ryan Howard stop there as Chapman is only 25 years old and should have numerous huge years in his future. He was the 8th pick of the draft in season 6 from Frontier High School in Whittier, near Los Angeles. The seven teams who passed on him are kicking themselves as only #1 pick Kevin Canseco has enjoyed any real success in the big leagues. Unfortunately Chapman’s high school has fallen on hard times with budget cuts at $13 million and 25 people losing their jobs.

Antonio, well known around the league as being very cheap, has failed to provide any assistance to his former school.

Resume:
Antonio has a career average of .338 and has had seasons of 67, 69, 81 and 81 home runs. While those numbers are inflated by the homer happy American League, they are still very impressive. He has already won rookie of the year, a hr derby, two mvp trophies, been voted to four all star teams and won three silver slugger awards. Suffice it to say his trophy case is full.

Rest of the Story:
Chapman has already had a very interesting life. He was born out of wedlock to former Playboy playmate, Merle Pertile, who moved to Whittier from Illinois. Antonio’s father is unknown as Merle had no shortage of suitors around town since her 38 inch bust complemented her 5’5” frame exceptionally well. Antonio’s next door neighbor was Fergie, who taught him everything she knows about the birds and the bees. Fergie was said to be well enamored with young Antonio but one night she went to far when her penchant for golden showers turned Antonio off young women for good.

Since then Chapman has been a troubled young man. He has spent time in prison for the rape of a 72 yr old woman while she was walking her dog.

Antonio thought he could get away with his crimes by hiding out in Key West. Unbeknownst to him, Second City commissioner Jwendt has spent a lot of time as the featured webcam dancer at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West. Jwendt instantly recognized Antonio and blew his cover.

After escaping Key West, Antonio took up residence in Chicago. However his attraction to senior citizens did not wane as Antonio used porcelain dolls to try and lure old woman into his clutches.

Chapman certainly has the credentials and talent to make it to the Second City Hall. Whether or not Texas GM jying98 can control Chapman's sick mind is the key to if he actually gets there.

Legends on the move

A flurry of early free agent signings included two Second City Legends.

Dick Caruso Texas Riders Age: 37 B/T: L/L Born: Du Bois, PA Position(s): 1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Dick Caruso, Second City's all-time HR leader with 586 dingers singed with the Texas Riders. The Riders will be 37-year old Caruso's 4th franchise. Caruso was excited at the fresh start and short porch in Texas. "I hit only 18 HR's last year and that's not acceptable. I'm hoping that the warm weather and short fences in Arlington bring me back to the numbers I'm used to producing." There's no word yet on where Texas will play Caruso who's diminishing athleticism limits his options defensively. One thing is certain, there's likely to be a brawl over that 600th HR ball if and when it lands somewhere in Texas.

Del Gil Arizona Isotopes of Albuquerque Age: 35 B/T: L/R Born: Boca Chica, DO Position(s): RF/CIF/LF View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Del Gil, 2nd in Second City in career HR's with 558 has left the defending champion Mexico City Bandejos for the Arizona Isotopes of Albuquerque. Gil ended a run 6 six consecutive 50 HR seasons with a measly 48 long ones for the Bandejos last season. Gil did not react well to a playoff benching last season and didn't hesitate to take a parting shot at Mexico City management on his way out the door. "dyuen and his staff don't stand behind their people. I'm not the first guy to carry this team and then be thrown overboard and I won't be the last. Hopefully the Arizona franchise will appreciate what I do for them, and the league."

Sounds like sour grapes if ever there way. Whatever Mexico City's methods, it's hard to criticize the results. They keep winning titles and spending a lot less than the rest of the league.

STOP THROWING HIM STRIKES

Apparently AL pitchers haven't gotten the news yet but Antonio Chapman hits the ball a long ways. Stop pitching to him already.

Chapman, a 23 year-old first baseman for the Texas Riders hit 67 and 69 HRs in his first two seasons, has twice been an All-Star, won the Rookie of the Year and Home Run Derby in Season 9, and he plays in one of the most HR-friendly parks in the league.

Well, season 11 is no different. In 8 games, Chapman has hit 10 Hr's including a 3-game stretch in Santa Fe (where you weigh less than you would on the moon apparently) where he his 7 HR's. That's right, 3 games, 7 HR's. For that series he was 12-15 (.800) with 3 doubles, 8 runs scored, 2 walks, and 13 RBI. For Pete's sake reigny, bean the dude already!

Antonio Chapman Texas Riders Age: 23 B/T: L/L Born: Anaheim, CA Position(s): 1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Chapman is not related to former Chicago Rush offensive specialist Antonio Chatman who has also played in the NFL with Cincinnati and Green Bay. They are however facebook friends.

Playoff Profile: Texas Riders

Texas Riders (AL South Champions)

Hitting:
This will become a theme with the AL teams, but the Rider O gallops on the power of sluggers. Antonio Chapman (69 HRs, 154 RBI) and Kelvim Roa (59, 139) hit a ton of homers in a park that likes to give them up.

Team BA: .280
Team HR: 366
Team SB: 119

Pitching:
Texas is NOT a fun place to throw the ball for a living. No pitcher won over 14 games, and only 1 starter (Vin Sheets) had an ERA under 5.00. Closer B.C. Juarez was electric though, saving 40 of 47 while posting a 1.91 ERA. If the Riders can get him the ball, he'll be tough to beat.

Team ERA: 4.99
Team SV: 46-61
Team HR allow: 218

Season Preview Part Five – AL South

Two storied AL franchises in Houston and Monterrey are heavily favored to continue their winning ways in the best hitting division in the AL. Texas and more recently Sante Fe have been concentrating on youth and promise to make strides this year. Still, the youth of Sante Fe and the shoddy defense of Texas will keep them outside the hunt again this season.

Houston Heavy Hitters
History – The franchise has missed the playoffs just once, in season 2 which prompted rudedog to buy the team from pokesfan and move it from Arlington to Houston. A World Series trip in season 4 raised expectations, but 3 straight early exits have fans wanting more.

There aren’t many simpler names in the league, and they live up to it. Every player on the big league roster is over 180 lbs. and almost half the roster is 200 lbs. Have I mentioned that they hit?

Strengths – Banjo White won ROY honors in Season 3, made the All-Star team in Season 4, and has won three straight MVPs since with remarkably consistent performances (.316-72-181, .311-70-184, .308-74-187). At just 6’0 tall and 227 lbs, he’s the heaviest of hitters.

Weaknesses – Defense has never been their calling card, but 2-time gold-glover Pablo Guerrero was brought in to play SS. Manny Neugebaeur leads the staff. He was signed as a minor-league free agent to a $43.5M contract (5 years) prior to season 4, but he’s never topped 165 IP or 10 wins in a season. The rest of the rotation is a collection of aging starters and solid if underwhelming younger pitchers.

Odds - 7:2 to win the division, 12:1 to win the pennant – They’ll score and the defense should be solid, but will this pitching staff be able to contribute more than fireworks?

Monterrey Conquistadors
History – Monterrey is an original franchise that has never missed the playoffs. Four division titles, three wild cards, and zero seasons with fewer than 92 wins make them one of the premier franchises in Second City. A season 6 trip to the World Series remains the team’s top achievement.

The ‘Quistas are named for Spanish explorer, Hernando Cortez, who is most famous for conquering the Aztecs. The key blow in that battle was Cortez and his army killing Aztec emperor Montezuma. Many visitors to Monterrey still experience Montezuma’s revenge.

Strengths – ‘Quista pitching coach Rigo Valdez is the league’s firmest believer in the controversial 3-man tandem rotation. The tactic gets top pitchers like Lee Rivera 40-50 appearances per year as opposed to the 32-34 a 5-man starter gets. His innings per game are limited, so the IP totals of 225 or so are in-line with the rest of the league. The staff is deep with no 1 standout. Carson Sherman is the top hitter on a club excellent at reaching base, while Roberto Servet’s 87 steals led the jackrabbits on the bases.

Weaknesses – There aren’t a ton of bombers in the lineup so the team must generate runs with multiple hits and moving guys along. The defense, just like the rest of the team is deep, with quality everywhere but few standouts.

Odds - 3:2 to win division, 7:1 to win the pennant. No franchise is more about the team with the tandem rotation, a division-winning club that didn’t have an All-Star, and a lineup that’s as dangerous at 8-9 as it is at 1-2. The only question is whether such a squad can compete in the playoffs.

Sante Fe Fire Hawks
History –After a false start in Charlotte, imaginary internet mogul texas_ron took over the franchise in season 2. Ron proceeded to pour money into the franchise, drastically increasing payroll from $105 million in season 1 to as much as $151 million in season 4. The results were just as distressing, with the El Paso Longhorns posting a worse record than the previous season in each the next 4 years. Tjconnatser attempted to resurrect the franchise gone wrong with a move to Tampa Bay, where officials promised a new stadium that didn’t suck. When that fell through, HBD turnaround artist reigny took over, moving the squad to Sante Fe and drastically cutting payroll, back to $82 million this season. A farm system corrupted by foolish spending habits of an internet mogul is slowly on its way to recovery.

The Fire Hawks are named for a chapter of Space Marines in the fictional Warhammer 40,000 universe. The Fire Hawks chapter is also known the Legion of the Dammed. Reigny made his fortune looting spacecraft with his marines.

Strengths – The staff will throw strikes with veterans Steven Serra (39, former All Star), Jim Johnson (37, former All Star), and Bruce Maloney (38, 2-time All Star) present to lead a staff full of young arms

Weaknesses – Two 19-years olds, Chris Boswell and Courtney Rhodes, both drafted last year, join season 6 first round pick, Nolan Smith on the big league roster. A total of 10 big leaguers are under the age of 25. That’s not a good thing. This squad has talent, but little of it is truly ready for the big leagues. Texas_ron’s mismanagement continues to hamper this squad.

Odds - 500:1 to win the division, 100,000:1 to win the pennant – The pitching and hitting is either too old or too young. There’s young talent here, but it shouldn’t be in Sante Fe yet.

Texas Riders
History – Single, unsuccessful seasons in Atlanta and Tampa led the franchise to Arlington, TX. Following an 82-80 finish, sean365 sold the team to local beer merchant, jying98. jying founded a successful liquor store in Arlington that made its mark providing kegs for frat parties on the UT campus. He immediately set out doing to the Riders what he did to Austin, pouring money (or beer) into the youth. The results are starting to show as the minor league system has quietly become one of the league’s best, and the major league team continues to make strides.

Despite the common misconception that the team is named for the cowboys of old that would later become known as the Rangers, the Texas franchise is actually named in honor of former college slam-dunk champion, JR Rider of UNLV. Rider briefly met jying at Allen County Community College in Iola, KS, where Rider gave him the idea to sell beer to undergrads.

Strengths – RF Kevlim Roa with 329 career homers and 199 career stolen bases remains one of the top dual-threats in the league 1b Tim Aven, LF Jacob Serrano, and 22-year old C Robinson Frazier all have the ability to hit 40 HRs, so the long ball will be there. AAA 1B Antonio Chapman, a season 6 1^st round pick, is pounding on the door and will join the HR fest soon. Watch out for starter Vernon Mota, the 24-year old is a capable of much better than the 12-15, 6.07 performance of last season indicates.

Weaknesses – This is one of the worst defensive teams in the league, with no player sporting a range greater than 73 and only one with a glove over 72. The rotation relies on two pitchers, Greg Glover and Charles Lilly that could walk 100+ batters this year.

Odds - 20:1 to win the division, 60:1 to win the pennant – The hitters already here and those in the high minors will make the offense as good as any team’s. However, the small park, wild pitching, and swiss-cheese defense mean plenty more football scores to come.