Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Undisclosed Batting Eye Injury puts Sioux Falls, Moriarity at Odds

Rumors have swirled for weeks concerning the health of Monterrey Conquistador 1B/DH, Chance Moriarity - mostly due to his paltry performace at the plate after Sioux Falls traded him to Monterrey. Rumor became fact on Tuesday as Moriarity finally came clean about Sioux Falls not disclosing his injury before the trade.

"It's true," stated Moriarity, "I have a gambling problem." Apprently, Moriarity was afflicted with, what is described as, a lingering eye strain injury caused by spending all his free time seeing flops at the Native American Casinos around Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls manager "The J" refused to comment, further indicating foul play was indeed intended with the injury management "error". One Dakota player refusing to give his name, stated: " Coach said: 'We've won one championship... to have staying power we need to model ourselves after other consistent winners, like the Patriots.' "

Monterrey Assistant General Manager for Personnel, Vasco de Gama, would not speak at length, but said: "If they want to act like the Patriots, treat them as such - take away a draft pick. We lost pitcher Dave Clark last year to playing too much Wii tennis, but you didn't see us hide the injury."

The rumors began several weeks ago and leading them were Moriarity's WELL below average statistics in Season 8, particularly after his trade from Sioux Falls to Monterrey. The 'Quistas relatively small park is well known for being hitter friendly, unlike the Dakota's pitching friendly park. Most press assumed Moriarity was in for an excellent second half to his season as a result. Moriarity averaged .290 at the plate and an OPS of .870 before coming into season 8. Since the trade with Monterrey, Chance's Average dropped to a putrid .247 with an OPS of .782

The Commish (also "The J") had a statement prepared (he had it ready the second this story came to light): "We have looked into the Moriarity trade scenario. Given the situation in Atlanta right now (near fan riot), we cannot take any action."

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