Monday, August 11, 2008

Sixto Lezcano Winner: Lazy Berry Profile

The winner of the final preliminary bracket is Monterrey 1B/OF Lazy Berry. Berry, a 'Quista since season 3, has been quite successful as a part-time player, hitting .296 over his career. True to his name, he's too lazy to run, actually going 0-10 lifetime stealing bases, all of them pick-offs.

Lazy Berry
Age: 29B/T: R/R
Born: Santa Clarita, CA
Position(s): 1B/LF/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

So what parent in their right mind would name their child, Lazy Berry? Well, it's a complicated story. You see, Lazy's mom Caroline Staw never took her husband, Bobby Boysen's last name. So, when Lazy, their first child came along, there was some disagreement as to how he should be named. Caroline didn't like that he wouldn't share her name and Bobby also wanted his family name carried on. So, the couple compromised and agreed that their son should take what they had in common for a last name. After the protracted argument was settled, there was little time to consider a first name. Seeing as how the boy was conceived at Knott's Berry Farm in California on Bigfoot Rapids, Bobby insisted on calling him Bigfoot. Caroline hated the ride (pun intended) and insists on calling it the lazy river. Hence, Lazy was christened and we have our final finalist.

Voting in the finals will be open for several days. See the poll to your left to choose your favorite.

Incidentally, Lazy has 4 siblings, a sisters Boo and Raz, and a brothers Goose and Pomegranate. All share his last name, Berry.

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