Monday, May 4, 2009

NKOtB Part Two: Salt Lake City Salty Sardines

HISTORY: Orabbi is the 7th owner is 12 years for this well-traveled franchise. The last three owners have been one-and-done so let's hope a long-term solution is in place. The team has never made the playoffs enabling it to pick in the top 10 seven times in 11 amateur drafts. Season 10 #2 overall pick Pete Miller is being groomed patiently however and provides hope for the future.

As you may recall, previous owner bigking actually founded the former Wichita franchise before mr_orange muscled his way in and moved the team to Baltimore ( After mr_orange was acquitted of a RICO charge in the matter, bigking left the witness protection program and acquired this franchise, moving it to Sacramento. Following last season, bigking mysteriously disappeared. mr_orange once again denies any foul play.

In any event, the team entered receivership. That's when sardine magnet orabbi stepped in to take ownership.

OUTLOOK: Orabbi has decided that the team needs a re-building and he couldn't be more right. Several top veterans have been moved and a youth movement is surely at hand. Orabbi recently traded Livan Suarez to Las Vegas, breaking up the fabulous Suarez brothers. Expect a slow crawl back to contention as the youth movement is given time to succeed.

NAME: Orabbi made his fortune selling "sardines" to locals. His secret recipe has no peer, but theories abound. Orabbi reportedly produces the sardines from brine shrimp native to Great Salt Lake. However, various local reports say that his shrimp come only from the pink waters of Gunnison Bay, the saltiest portion of the lake. Gunnison Bay is saltier due to the 1904 construction of the Lucin Cutoff, a rail bridge across the lake. Orabbi's great-great grandfather allegedly discovered that extra-salty shrimp from Gunnison could be processed into a sardine-like product (even though it's shrimp rather than fish). Locals go nuts for the stuff, but nobody else can figure out how to make it so Orabbi's annual 15% price hike does little to slow sales. He's now invested the profits into the franchise.

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