Thursday, October 16, 2008

Crownrificos sued by former players

Recently retired San Juan Crownrificos have filed a class-action lawsuit against the club alleging racial discrimination. Henry Freel and Troy Bollea allege that San Juan team owner wang35 has infringed upon their rights by not allowing the players to take personal time to celebrate Bastille Day. Bollea (rhymes with courvosieur) and Henry (rhymes with enuui) Freel are both American citizens.

However, Freel hails from Louisiana and comes from a long line of French Creole ancestors. He claims his great-great-great-great uncle Pierre actually notorized the Louisiana purchase. A plaque in his sister's currency exchange commemorates the occasion but locals are skeptical. "That boy ain't been right since he wrestled an alligator in the 5th grade." Local lore has it that Freel was given a standing eight-count, but won on points.

Bollea attended high school in NY state. He changed his name 11 years ago when a local reporter revealed that he was actually the child of his siblings' nanny, French aupaire Monique Bollea. The family had long concealled the secret but all was revealed the stunning season finale of The Jerry Springer Show.

Windy City Musings legal expert Roger Coussack doubts that the players have a case, but fellow recent retirees, Dennis Shibata, Sterling Dupler, and Frank Fujiwara are rumored to be considering joining the case for their own ignored ethnic holidays (Peal Harbor Day, Arbor Day, and National Talk Like a Pirate Day respectively).

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