Saturday, October 4, 2008

'Quistas Owner Goes Al Davis on Team, Promises Ludicrous Improvement

After another season bowing out early in the playoffs, Monterrey Conquistador owner kmueller tore into the team during a press conference. Kmueller went on a tirade, blaming coaches, players, fans, umpires, the stock market and even the water in Mexico. Even though Monterrey has won four straight division titles, kmueller is uphappy with the year over year decline in record and lack of ability to succeed in the playoffs.

The 'Quista owner went on to say "we need to improve our win total by 300%... anything less is unacceptable." When a reporter from a small town in South Dakota asked how his team would improve from 89 wins to 267 wins (a 300% improvement) with only 162 games in the season, kmueller was silent, and appeared to be sending a cell phone text message after taking the question.

Players had mixed feelings on the comments from the owner - the buzz in the 'Quista offseason training facility was directly related to coaching. Longtime 'Quista base thief and player's union president Roberto Servet said "We like kmueller - but how does he expect success when the league rules give so many benefits to free agent coaches. Until the league fixes how coaches choose to remain with a team, I don't think we'll see that level of success. We've had 9 different bench coaches in 9 years."

'Quista fans were glad to hear the owner get passionate, but many were concerned when kmueller indicated that "significant rebuilding" will need to take place. That usually indicates a couple sub par seasons may be in the mix in the near future. The 'quista fan base has been one of the most consistent over the years, mostly due to promotions such as Taco Tuesdays and Futbol Fridays.

Update: The reporter from South Dakota has had difficulty returning home, with apparent passport issues. Mexican authorities declined to comment.

No comments: