Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Dolphins swim to 'Frisco
Much like the Colts fleeing Baltimore by cover of darkness, the Dolphins fled Honolulu for San Francisco. In a scene eerily reminiscent of the Colt affair, rumors of the move caused a near panic across the state of Hawaii. In fact, the state legislature was in the process of passing a law allowing the state to seize the team by eminent domain if they tried to relocate off the islands.
Dolphin owner dsphalinger, being a sharp cookie and aware of the past, turned to a proven resources. When the Colts fled Baltimore, they contracted Mayflower moving company and accomplished the move by dark of night, thus avoiding similar eminent domain legislation in Maryland before it could take effect. So, when the Dolphins got wind of a similar plan in Hawaii, they called in Mayflower. "Hey, the Mayflower is a proven ship, even if it has been around for 500 years. I mean, if it's good enough for the pilgrims, why not for the Dolphins?" said the enigmatic team owner.
Unfortunately for dspalinger, Mayflower is a truck moving company. They expeditiously packed up the team offices and stadium and had everything on trucks the same day. Unfortunately, trucks don't float. When the Mayflower caravan was lined up at the dock, the state threatened to re-posses the team. That's when Second City Commissioner jwendt stepped in. The state agreed to allow the Dolphins to leave as long as another team took over their lease. mesco12, the new owner was looking to escape Kansas City for well, pretty much anywhere. The commish promised the team to Honolulu, and all lived happily ever after ... so far anyways