Monday, January 5, 2009

Dakota manager phased by Absinthe

Sioux Falls Dakota manager the J, in the most important series of the season against heated rival and neighbor, the Doc, made a huge tacitcal error in game 2. He started one time ace Bartolo Gonzales, who was coming off a severe shoulder injury and making his first start in over 2 months. Bart was blasted by the Bandejos for 9 runs in 2 innings.

Sioux Falls well respected and only sports writer, Jimmy Olsen, blasted the J for this poor decision. After some crack investigation, it was determined that Doc was able to cloud J's mind by serving him repeated doses of the Green Fairy on New Year's Eve. In 1905 the Swiss government was convinced that it was absinthe alone that turned a law-abiding citizen into a homicidal maniac. After Jean Lanfray, a 31-year-old laborer, killed his pregnant wife and two children, the Swiss government banned the spirit. While Lanfray had sampled a bottle of absinthe before breakfast that morning, officials failed to take into consideration that he had also consumed Creme de Menthe, cognac and soda, more than six glasses of wine and a cup of coffee laced with brandy. "If you drink too much, something bad will happen." Luckily for the J it was only a baseball game.

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